He is everywhere!

Youth camps were a big part of my teenage life.  As soon as one was over I was counting the days until the next one would happen.  When I was sixteen I had become so fond of these camps that I became a co-counselor and at 17 I was counseling on my own.  I don’t know exactly what I was thinking considering I myself was still in high school but those weeks brought some of the best memories I have as a teenager.  One of which being the traditional stop at the Pizza Factory in Marysville on the way home.  It was such a fun time to defrag from the week with other leaders, laugh at the craziness, and thank God for lives changed.  It was the only time each year that I knew we’d all have the chance to sit around a table, eat some amazing pizza, and be in awe of yet another incredible week.  God is so good.

 

As the years have come and gone we have moved a little further and a little further away from that camp up in Chico, CA but it’s memory will stay with me a lifetime.  From time to time I crave the camaraderie I found at that table, the encouragement, the laughs, the memories made, and even that delicious pizza.  Oh the pizza! If only it weren’t a five hour drive to get that little slice of heaven! 

 

After being in Visalia just a short while, my husband and I decided to explore our new city a bit and take the boys on a drive up the mountain to the Sequoia National Forest. (Granite we had only made it to the gate before realizing that we had started our trek a bit too late in the day for the boys to really appreciate it without a nap and had to turn back around.)  When we were about twenty minutes into our trip we reached a place called Three Rivers and we were in awe at how charming this little nook of a town was hidden in the mountains.  It has the cutest little ice cream shop, antique stores, trails galore, and then- out of the corner of our eyes we spotted it- a Pizza Factory!  It was here too!

 

Many of you who know our family, or have been following the blog, know that we lost an incredible woman last summer.  She had a huge impact on not only my life but so many others.  She was my youth pastor, my mentor, my spiritual mom.  Her words of advice have not only run laps but marathons in my mind throughout each season of life and as I saw the pizza sign that day for one of my favorite teenage memories something she had once said came to life for me...

 

“God is bigger than [where you are now]”.

 

I have to say I teared up a bit and had a bit of difficulty swallowing due to the giant lump in my throat that had formed from hearing her voice yet again in my head.  Her loss hasn’t been easy and I think of her often.  But this piece of advice, this one I’m sharing with you today, holds special meaning.  It was one of the last ones she had left with me before leaving this earth and I hope it speaks volumes to you…

 

We had been visiting after my husband and I had moved to Stockton (about 4 years ago) and she was inquiring as to how we were liking things.  “We love it”, I remember saying.  “It’s not Roseville, but it’s exactly where we are supposed to be right now and I love it.” She started smiling and shared with me about how she herself and her husband had faced a similar transition early in their marriage.  They were moving from a town she had always known to a place she had only heard of.  “It was scary, but I realized afterward that God was bigger than Marysville.”  She had moved from a place where she had come to know God and realized that He was with her wherever she went.  And not only that, but He was already in that new place working on people before she had even gotten there.  He wasn’t tied down to a city or to a place, a camp or a church.  He was everywhere. 

 

He is in the small church down the street and the megachurch on the corner.  He is in the town of two hundred and the city of two million.  He is present as far as the eye can see and He is present in places our human minds will never be able to comprehend.  He is everywhere.

 

He isn’t your mom and pop hole in the wall coffee shop, He’s Starbucks, and He is everywhere.

 

So for my friends who are graduating, the ones facing big life changes, and the ones still undecided about what to do next- rest in this, God is bigger than where you are now.  You will see, just as I had when finding that Pizza Factory hidden in the side of a mountain, that God is not so small that He can only be contained to one place.  He is bigger.  You don’t need to worry if God will provide; He will.  You don’t need to worry about the right doors opening; they will.  You don’t need to worry whether or not you will make new friends, new memories; you will.  You don’t need to fear the future, any part of it, because God is bigger than where you are now.  Take a big breath and jump right in to the destiny God has for your life, just as a child in a swimming pool.  It may be scary at first because you’ve never done it before but don’t worry; your Father is already there.

Psalm 46:1

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." NIV

Psalm 46:1

"God is our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble." AMP

Am I Okay?

They fumble around with no sense of direction or common sense.  They have way too much energy, courage, and curiosity for their tiny awkward stature.  And they always get into way too many shenanigans to be left unsupervised even for a moment… children… they are terrifyingly unaware of anything… until it is too late, that is.

 

As a teenager these miniature humans seemed so fragile.  At a youth event I once saw a child take a nose dive off of a few stairs onto a tile floor only to see the parent look at me and without missing a beat say, “don’t react”.  SERIOUSLY?! Your kid probably has a brain bleed after that fall and you are asking me to not  react, not even to check to see if he is ok?  I know he said this because he could see my eyes widen to an abnormal width and my arms flail out like a pizza delivery boy protecting his pizzas after being cutoff in traffic, but this was a time for panic- wasn’t it? 

 

I learned a very valuable lesson that day, one I will carry with me always as a mother.  When a child gets hurt, or thinks they may have gotten hurt, the first thing they will do is look for their parents' face and without uttering any words ask the question, “am I okay?”.

 

It has been proven time and time again.  And with much practice I have learned something even more valuable with dealing with a child who unfortunately has taken after his very clumsy mother; to the extent that I react they react. 

 

If I am in a panic then my boys will follow my lead and think that tripping over the rug for the umpteenth time will in fact be the cause of their untimely deaths.  But if I am calm as I hypothetically watch my child run through the house (after being told not to over a million times) and head straight for the side of our couch causing him to spin out of control and smack his face on the ground, all the while being watched by our social worker who is judging to see if we would be fit parents to adopt a little girl (or two), then I can instruct my shaking son who is looking at me with eyes that would bring any mother to tears and peacefully say- “you are ok, I know that must have hurt, but you are okay” and watch as he takes a big breath and continues on with the story of his baseball game.  Eye turning colors, swelling to double the size, and all.  Hypothetically of course.

 

But he is okay.  Because I said he was.  Not in a “suck it up, be a man” kind of way, but in a trusting “mom would know what to do if it was really bad” kind of way.  I have seen my fair share of trips, falls, smacks, whacks, and everything in between with these two boys of mine and I know as any parent would when it is most definitely not okay.  So when my boy looks at me after yet another accident I can assess if this is a hold-them-tight-and-repeat-you-are-okay kind of moment or wink-at-their-clumsiness-and-laugh-it-off one. 

 

Over time I have realized that there are many ways to deal with the fumbling’s of children.  Many that causes the children more trauma than comfort when a situation is catapulted way out of control with a parent’s hysteria.  And as children do, they feed off of that reaction and assume that they are in fact dying.  This is the end.  That is the last patch of grass they will ever trip over.

 

Here is what we can all learn from this, being a mother or not.  When we as children of God find ourselves in tough situations, look for His face.  Don’t look around at other people who will nine times out of ten make you feel more angry, more bitter, more hurt than you already do after a three hour venting session.  Look for His face.  Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Creator of the universe, the One who knows the beginning and the end, our Father, will most certainly be saying- you’re okay.  I know that must have hurt, but you are okay.

 

Not in a suck it up, fake it 'til you make it kind of way.

 

But in a trusting, my Father would know what to do if it was really bad, kind of way.

 

Look for His face.  Seek refuge in His divine nature.  Rest in His willing and able hands. 

You don’t have to pretend that you are okay in that moment, just trust that you will be.

 

 

 

2 Thessalonians 3:3

But the Lord is faithful.  He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.

 

2 Samuel 22:3-4

My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation,

my stronghold and my refuge, my Savior; You save me from violence. 

I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

Change is Coming

Change is coming.  Like a storm on the horizon.  It is inevitable.  No one knows how bad it will be, where exactly it will affect the most, or even who it will drag into the middle of it all.  Only one thing is for sure… it is coming.

 

I can say this with all certainty, without even knowing your precise situation, because I know something both exciting and terrifying that many choose to ignore- life is change.  Whether you love it or hate it, it has always and will always be there.

 

When you are 12 you are promoted to junior high.  You lose recess but get school dances.  You lose friends but get a new school.  Change.

 

When you are 14 you are promoted to high school.  You lose your seniority but get a larger campus.  You lose your voice in a big crowd but get a larger variety of classes.  Change.

 

When you are 18 you graduate high school.  You lose a familiar environment but get a renewed sense of freedom.  You lose friends you’ve spent years making memories with but get the ability to choose the direction for the rest of your life.  Change.

 

When you are in your twenties there are even more changes.  New cities, new schools, new churches, new jobs, new relationships.   You get married and have a baby.  You have three babies.  Change change change.  And of course all of these are just the typical (minus the family of five status) and don’t even include a possible divorce in the family, a death, a big move, a loss of a friendship, a loss of a mentor.  So many things are constantly changing that the only thing you can bet your money on… is change.

 

I have gone through my fair share of transitions, the most recent of which being our big move to Visalia.  And for the sake of complete openness and honesty it was the hardest season of bitterness I have had to walk through to date.  Not because we moved.  Not because we felt we were wrong for moving.  Not even because every single bit of my life was altered.  It was hard because of people.

 

People make change hard.

 

People that I loved and had to leave.  People that we had poured our lives into and were devastated that God had called us on.  People that not only disagreed with our journey but made it a point to tell us how displeased they were.  People that have ignored, shunned, and even stopped believing in the calling of God on our lives because it didn’t match the plan they had for us.  All because of that dirty six letter word; change.

 

In this new season, in this new city, in this new church, and in our new home I am surrounded by an array of newness and I find myself disillusioned instead of delighted.   It isn’t what I thought it would be.  Instead of joy I am feeling loss.  Instead of excitement I am feeling anxiety.  But I know that I am where I am supposed to be, so why does it have to be this hard?  Why does change have to hurt?

 

While talking to (more like word vomiting all over) my beautiful Aunt over the weekend she made a profound statement that has brought me such peace in the midst of this storm.  She said… “you aren’t losing, you’re expanding”.  We see change as loss.  I lost a house that I made memories in.  I lost a youth group that I love dearly.  I lost mentors who once encouraged me.  I lost a sense of purpose that once defined me. But that isn’t the way God sees it.  The Bible says that “His ways are above my ways.  His thoughts are above my thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8). 

 

Everything I thought I had lost, God has expanded.  He has pushed the walls back that I once believed were so immovable and I am living in this idea of “more”.  More places for memories to be made, more students to love on and believe in, more voices that have helped shape and guide me, more vision and possibility than I could see before.  It isn’t loss it is expansion.  It isn’t less it is more. 

 

God’s intentions for our lives, His plans for us, are to move us from glory to glory (from better to even better) but we often see the years pass as two steps forward and one step back.  Something gained and something lost.  We make everything so personal that we forget the “more” that God has in mind.  We see change as bad instead of just different.  We “lose” a friend instead of a friendship being different.  We “lose” a home instead of our home being different.  We “lose” a job instead of a job being different.

 

The only thing we truly lose with change is our preconceived expectations.

 

It isn’t what you thought it would be.  It isn’t how you thought it would go.  It isn’t who you thought would stick around.

 

It isn’t our thoughts, our ways.  And that’s ok.  It never will be.  But know this; you are not alone in it.  We all go through change and will for the rest of our lives.   So get ready, because it is coming. 

 

 

Psalm 18:30

As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

 

Psalm 145:17

The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.