Dinner is served

By Vanessa Shepherd

You would think I never fed my youngest if you were to visit us in the morning hours. You see, at about 8am Jacob has first breakfast, by 9am second breakfast and at 11 he is STARVING and hangrily awaiting lunch. These meals aren’t snack size, no I am talking a big plate of food EVERY TIME. At this rate I would think he would have gained a pound or two, but no. Or going to the bathroom every 5 minutes to download a few of the calories that were uploaded… if you know what I mean… but no. It is most bizarre. Maybe he is English and this is normal for him, but I can guarantee you that it is most certainly not for me. Because I am a mom and I don’t have time to sit down eight times a day to enjoy every bite of food on my plate. I would be lucky if I even get every bite of food on my plate without a small albino child asking for one… or ten.

He is a pro at eating and I could use some lessons from him because you see- I haven’t eaten in weeks. And that’s not even the worst part… the worst part is that I didn’t even realize it. 

Life has gotten a bit busy with Michael’s homework (which I am sure will be the death of me), Christmas shopping, never ending laundry, church events, Michael’s homework, friends visiting, an anniversary, a birthday, Michael’s homework, and so much more. I feel like I was able to sit down today and put my feet up for the first time in weeks and I realized something- I am STARVING. 

I didn’t hate myself for it. I wasn’t mad. I was however a little embarrassed but more than anything I was hungry.

You see, I have talked a lot to the Chef lately. I haven’t missed one day of conversation, but when it came down to sitting down and enjoying what was made just for me I could always find an excuse. I have 100 things on my “to do” list. I am too tired. There is too much noise. Someone needs me. The list just goes on and on. And all the while I would stare at the table and see what my body groaned for getting cold. 

Have you ever found yourself skipping a meal? Or two? Or a whole weeks worth? Could you imagine if someone told you they hadn’t eaten in months? I could imagine you would chain them to a chair and force feed them at that point. I almost felt at that point myself. How could I have had enough energy to get anything done. How could I have thought I could do it alone. It’s embarrassing. But for the sake of us all I am saying it. I haven’t eaten in weeks.

Until today.

Today I sat down and looked at the one thing that could fill my heart and soul with much needed nourishment and just smiled, it was time. It was time to dust off the words written down just for me and really partake in what God had for me today. And I have to tell you something, I feel more alive now than I have these past weeks. Sometimes you just need a reminder that you were never created to go so long without your “DAILY bread” (Matthew 6:11) or LIVING water(John 4:10). Sure, your body can survive a while- but do you know what happens to a body that is deprived of the nutrients it needs? It starts to eat itself and the body eventually wastes away and dies. 

Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally we can be wasting away and not even realizing it. But don’t get upset. No need for condemnation or finger pointing. And certainly no need to get HANGRY. Just pull out your Bible, dust it off, ask the Chef to direct you to what He has prepared for you today, and EAT. Whether it’s 5 minutes or 50; you don’t have a good enough reason not to!

Psalm 34:8

“Taste and see that the Lord is good!”

*And if you want a great place to start- try reading the Christmas story!  It is the reason for the season!  MERRY CHRISTMAS from LHOH!!!  

Do you smell that?

By Emily Bansuelo

Do you smell like cat poop? Because sometimes I do. I don't know if you've noticed, but cat poop smells really bad and it even has bacteria that grows on it I think. I had a friend growing up who never cleaned her cats litter box so her room always smelled like cat poop. I think she stopped noticing it after a while, because it never seemed to bother her. It makes me wonder how many cat owners walk around smelling like feces without knowing it, because once you get used to a smell you stop smelling it.  And while I loved my friend dearly, her room really stunk. 

I had an epiphany a couple weeks ago, pertaining to cat poop after I had cleaned my cat's litter box. I wasn't even thinking about cat poop, but about my small group at church and I wanted a good illustration for describing our acceptance in Christ. I'm a junior high pastor so anything pertaining to poop really sticks in middle schooler’s minds, I've noticed, (no gross pun intended... well kinda) and it hit me! It was for sure a God idea, and I felt Him speak to my heart, "I accepted you even when you smelled like this cat poop." WHAT?! 

Amazing, right?! So that Wednesday night I brought in a huge bag of my cats poop. Yep...  I did. I'm willing to do weird things to help my kids remember lessons they hear in church. As I had the cat poop bag passed around the room, by the way, two of the kids ran to the corner and hid. I told them that even in our life when we are at our smelliest God was and is still there. He never stops pursuing us with his love. God is so holy, and yet he loved us in our dirtiest place. And when we accept his love for us, he does the best cleaning job ever. Or you can think of it the way one of my 7th grade girls stated, "God is the best litter box cleaner." 

And this time of year it almost brought me to tears, no not the poop, but the fact that Jesus was born around POOP!!! It must've stunk so badly in that barn. But one VERY brave teenage girl birthed a baby in a dirty place surrounded by dirty animals in a dirty world. He would grow up ready to serve, heal, and love the dirty people around him. He died for you and wants you to accept his gift of eternal unfailing love. It's right there, and it's up to us to realize our foul smelling self and give it up so God can clean us up.

Let’s get real, I’ve been doing a pretty terrible job lately of spending time with my Creator and Savior. I’ve been so focused on the business, and not only that but my mistakes. What in the world do I have to give to God? I don’t have the beautiful treasures as the wise men had, like frankincense and gold… Oh wait there’s myrrh. Ha! I’m not even that great at knitting. I’ve done a pretty great job, however of stinking up my life. I’ve disappointed people, I haven’t been diligent, and I feel like my planner, two calendars and mounting to-do’s are RUNNING MY LIFE!!! I’m practically on my knees right now people… I want to be like that little drummer boy, coming to his king with what he has. I may only have what He’s given me. My life. You know what? I think that’s enough for Him. In fact, it’s all Jesus has asked for.

So this Christmas season when you're thinking about the incredible thing God did by coming to earth as a baby, hopefully I didn't ruin it for you too much and now all you think of is cat poop. But the main point is, through God's infinite power He gave us Himself fully understanding the pain, temptations, hurts and hang ups of this world so we could be fully with him; fully in a relationship with our Creator. He's done His part. He came to us. Traveling through galaxies, stripping off His glory to become fully man, and embrace this world. Now it's up to you, draw near, and allow Him to clean you up. He will. He's there. He's ready. Now it's up to us to realize we may smell a litter... Oops I mean a little. And receive the gift of perfect unfailing love.

Romans 5:6-8 (MSG)

"Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

Give me Justice or give me death!

By Vanessa Shepherd

I love justice.  A casual perusing of my DVR would suggest that I have a strange obsession with it really. Criminal Minds, Chicago PD, Blue Bloods, CSI, Law and Oder, Law and Order Criminal Intent, Law and Order SVU; these are just some of the shows that make up my list.  It is in fact so bad that my first son would be comforted by the beginning “don-don” sound of L&O as an infant when it would start to play.  Because I had in fact watched marathons of the show while figuring out my many crazy emotions as a new mom.  

Michael @ 8 months old

And for this reason- the side of me that would like nothing more than the world to live with all wrongs righted- the phrase “give me justice or give me death” would be a great phrase to go on my coffee cup so I could stare at it as I settle down to watch one of my many favorite shows.

Knowing all of this about me would make it plainly clear, and should be of no surprise, that my heart would start to race while reading of any injustice being done… anywhere.  And this week I ran across such a story.  Actually I ran across a few stories as I am sure so have you, but this one stuck with me.  It was a story about three siblings.  It started out like most dysfunctional family stories but took a dark disturbing turn south… and quick!  You know it isn’t going to end well when a brother starts losing weight because he is in fact infatuated with the beauty of his younger sister. 

The first brother took advice from a friend (let’s just pause to acknowledge the importance of picking friends… SO VERY IMPORTANT… ok, moving on), and decided to trap his sister in his room and have his way with her.  Put down the gun, Vanessa.

As if what happened wasn’t bad enough, but reading on in the story you find that their father was told of the incident and DID NOTHING.  In this particular country rape, a crime punishable by death was not something that could be so easily pushed under the rug.  Rightfully so!!! Infuriated the younger brother plotted against his older brother and put a hit out on his head.  To sum it up, the older brother dies and the younger brother is exiled to live in another country.  Excuse me, what?

Why in the world was he punished for doing exactly what the law demanded to be done?????

If I were to put myself in this story I would be the younger brother.  I would be the one to pick up the injustice done to my sister and see to it that the offender got what he deserved.  I would be furious with those who would only stand by and allow these things to happen.  I would be a voice to the ones who felt they had no voice.  I have no idea whose eyes you chose to read this story through- whether the victim or the vigilante- but I have no loss for your position.  Justice was served and a hero was punished for it. 

I DON’T LIKE IT. It seems cruel and unfair.  It seems cowardly to just sit back and do nothing instead of what was actually done.  To speak when no one would.  To carry out a FAIR sentence for a great injustice done.  Especially when family is concerned… siblings are most definitely OFF LIMITS.  I. Do. Not. Like. It. 

However (and unfortunately) I do not have to like something for it to be right. 

This story found in 2 Samuel 13 paints a troubling picture of justice for me as Absolom (the younger son) is exiled for what I would consider to be “right”.  I cannot grasp it with my head and have been praying for clarity.  Asking God why it was this way… why the right thing was so wrong… and as I waited, fist clenched, He led me to a passage a few chapters after.

2 Samuel 15:2-4 ^“Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, ‘What city are you from?’ And he would say, ‘Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel.’ Then Absalom would say to him, ‘Look, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you.’ Moreover Absalom would say, ‘Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.’”

Here’s what we can gather from these verses.  Absalom stationed himself in the path of those seeking the king for justice and would tell them that he would fight on their behalf, seeing as the king had no time for them.  Naturally people fell in love with him.  He would fight for them!  He would give them justice!  BUT HE WAS NOT THE KING.  HE WAS NOT THE JUDGE.  What he was doing was not pursuing righteousness but instead taking matters into his own hands and acting out for the victim in vengeance.  It was not his place.  It was not his right.  It was revenge, not justice and that is why it was wrong!

This has brought on a lot of reflection for me. 

Have I been trying to take place of the King?  Have I stopped people short of their reliance on God in a need to “fix” their situation?  Have I allowed others to get in my way and prevent me from truly seeking resolution in Him?  Has my need for justice and others to be held accountable for wrongs done to me clouded my judgment of my place? 

I may have.  I might have.  I have.

I have wanted people to pay for the hurt they’ve caused and have made my case known to a few on my way to my “prayer closet”.  I have been so infuriated that despite my best efforts of doing right, I was still being wronged, and would let my offense fester unresolved inside of me calling my emotions justified, and have allowed them to stay far beyond their welcome.  I have harbored discontent toward others who have wronged a family member or friend and called the downfall of their life justice, when in reality it was only sugar-coated hatred. 

I have been guilty of my fair share of wrongs that on the outside seem quite right.  For this, for all of this, I am truly sorry.  It is not my place.  It is not my right.

I still love justice… that much has not changed… but my deciding what that is, and who should get it has.  So despite the offenses that may rise, may my heart and motives be kept pure.  May I learn how to protest (in word and action) injustices that are done without shrinking to the belief that I myself can take the place of judge or jury.  That my opinions of what justice would look like would be silenced by the greater truth that I am no less a sinner than any other who is in dyer need of mercy.  May I not replace the person with their actions and see others as He sees them.  Let justice lie with the judge and “let he who is without sin, cast the first stone” (John 8:7).  

And if God leads you to fight against any injustice (of which there will never be a shortage of)... fight the issue and not the person (or people group). "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood" (Ephesians 6:12)!

Ephesians 2:1-6 MSG

It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

Ephesians 2:4-5 AMP

But God—so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us, even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation).