Trading Clothes

When is the last time you stared at your closet, full of clothes, and thought “I have nothing to wear”?  I can take a guess and say it was this morning, and if not I am pretty sure that it’s safe to say it hasn’t been longer than a week since those words (whether spoken or thought) ran across your mind.  Because we are girls and that’s what we do; we look at full closets and see nothing.  Nothing that hasn’t been worn fifty times, nothing that covers us in all the right places, nothing that is both comfortable and fashionable… nothing. 

 

It’s a gift really, like magic.  There are fifty shirts and we see nothing.

 

Just a few short months ago we moved into a new house and I reorganized my whole life.  I would like to pretend that that is an exaggeration but who am I kidding, I love organization and I seized the opportunity to go over every drawer/closet/box with a fine toothed comb and trash every unneeded thing.  It was glorious.  Until I came to my closet of course and then out of the shadows of my soul crept out this hoarder that couldn’t stand the thought of getting rid of “this shirt” or “those pants” because “one day I might want to wear them again”.  “I’ll need them one day”.  “Maybe I won’t, but I might, need them.”  So the battle between the Purger and the Hoarder began.  And in the end, they both won.

 

I put all of the clothes that I hadn’t worn in a while (or knew I shouldn’t wear again) in a trash bag… and then put the trash bag back into my closet.  Voila, compromise at its best.

 

And there, in the back of my closet, this bag has sat for three months.  I didn’t need it, but I just couldn’t get rid of it.  Because I might need it again.

 

This past weekend we held a “Shirts & Skirts Trade Event” for the girls of TheChurch at Visalia and it was so much fun to see everyone trading things they hadn’t worn in a while and going home with new-to-them clothes.  They had some delicious food, got their hair/makeup done, took some fun pictures, and shared in some great laughs.  But my favorite part of the night came at the very end when I had the opportunity to sit with them and look them in their eyes to share with them that it was time- time to trade clothes.

 

Trade clothes?  Didn’t we already do that?  Yes… and no. 

 

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful chapter of a crazy woman who wakes up at the butt crack of dawn to sew clothes, prepare meals, water fields, balance the check book, and conquer the world.  And whenever I need a swift kick in the backside in regards to being a wife and a mother I turn to Proverbs 31.  In verse twenty five there is this beautiful gem of a statement that was so fitting for our event.  It says, “she is clothed with strength and dignity”. 

 

Clothed.

 

She puts them on every day… as clothing… to cover her.  Strength.  And dignity.

 

In the Amplified version of the verse it goes even further to say that “her position is strong and secure”.  So it is safe to say that she wasn’t wearing a bikini in verse 25. Strong and secure.  If you know what I mean.  And if you are a girl, I know that you know what I mean.

 

So what does this verse mean for us?  How do we become strong and secure?  We trade.  We trade our clothing of insecurity, our clothing of guilt, our clothing of condemnation, our clothing of comparison, our clothing of compromise for the clothing of strength and dignity.  It isn’t good enough to bag all of the old stuff up and keep it in the back of our closet, because it is always there to drag out from time to time whenever we feel at our worst. 

And it is all too easy to stare at those old clothes hanging on the trading rack and think that no one would even noticed if they slipped back into your bag.   (Not that I wanted to claim my old clothes considering they were practically the only ones left after our clothes exchange; it's safe to say I must have crept into some mom style, unbeknownst to me, and now need to find my way back to this thing called "fashion".)  Just like that we are reclaiming what we know we should be giving up.  Just like that old habits creep back in.  Just like that we find our old excuses for why we need these things back in our lives.  But we don't. 

It isn’t a trade if you hold on.

 

So let it go.  And please don’t sing the song, if I hear it one more time I might go crazy.

 

You sang it, didn’t you?  *shakes head*

 

We need to wake up every morning, look at ourselves in the mirror, and choose to be strong and secure.  Just as you decide what you wear to school.  It is your clothing.  It is a choice. And just as our clothes sometimes take a beating (especially if you are me and are prone to find every hidden mud puddle or slippery patch of grass), our strength and dignity will take a beating as well.  “But when we are in Him, we are a new creation.  The old passes away [with all of its stains and tears] and EVERYTHING becomes new.”  So if you find yourself wearing dirty clothes put them in the washing machine of 2 Corinthians 5:17 and wake up to some new ones. 

 

You are beautiful.  You are strong.  You are secure.

 

And of course, you is kind, you is smart, you is important too!

 

 

 

Psalm 30:11

You changed my ·sorrow [mourning] into dancing.
You took away my ·clothes of sadness [sackcloth],
and clothed me in ·happiness [joy].

It has been long enough

Centuries ago the Israelites wandered in the desert celebrating the miracles of God one minute and forgetting all about Him the next.  Praising Him for their deliverance and then cursing Him for their “lack”.  And after reading through the first few books of the Old testament I can’t help but wonder, if we ever look as fickle and ridiculous as we sound sometimes. 

 

Because...

 

He either is My Provider or He isn’t.

 

He either is My Healer or He isn’t.

 

He either is My Redeemer or He isn’t.

 

Surely He can’t be both, can He?  Because in all fairness, we treat Him as though He were… both that is.

 

One minute we are thanking Him for providing us with our needs and the next we are crying over another obscure bill that has just come in the mail.  After the five other obscure bills that had just come before that.  Or is that just me?

 

One minute we are praising Him for ridding us of our flu (I know I am not the only one who has muttered the words, “if you just heal me it’ll be the last thing I ask for”, mid-barf) and the next we are sitting in shock over another cancer diagnosis. 

 

One minute we are sharing His goodness over the difficulties He has helped us to overcome and the next we are bottling up our emotions and hiding our faces as we endure yet another trial.

 

He either is or He isn’t, my friends. 

 

When reading in Deuteronomy the first chapter opens up with the end.  The end of the wilderness.  The end of the trials.  The end of the their wandering.  The Israelite’s finally get to have their happy ending, the Promised Land.  God speaks to them in verse six something so powerful that I almost missed it when reading it the first time, He said “‘You have stayed long enough at this mountain.”  Such beautiful words.  You have stayed long enough.  Or for us, we can read it this way… it has been long enough.

 

It has been long enough wandering around in our wishy-washy Christianity.  It has been long enough doubting the very Creator who has proven Himself time and time again.  It has been long enough carrying the burdens of this world on our own.  It has been long enough rebelling against the very things we know we should be doing.  It has been long enough.

 

The Promised Land was still going to be a fight but it had been long enough.  It is time to really trust Him, to really take Him at His words.  That no matter the life circumstances, the truth of the Word is still absolute.  Whether we understand it or not, He is who He says He is.  He can do what he says He can do.  And in this season of celebrating the gruesome death of our Savior so that we could live eternally with our Father, let us not find ourselves in the same wilderness as the Israelites.  Rejoicing one day and forgetting the next.

 

He is the great I AM, so let Him be whatever it is you need Him to be. 

 

If you need a provider, He IS   (Philippians 4:19)

 

If you need a comforter, He IS   (John 14:26)

 

If you need a friend, He IS   (Proverbs 18:24)

 

If you need a healer, He IS   (Isaiah 53:5)

 

If you need a redeemer, He IS   (Isaiah 44:22)

 

If you need a savior, He IS   (1 John 1:9)

 

How many times must God prove Himself before we truly believe without doubting?  How many times must He rescue us before we trust Him completely.  How many times?  If we have forgotten then it is time to start remembering.  It has been long enough my friends.

 

 

 

James 1:5-7

If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind. For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord.

Look up

Have you ever been told, “you’re just not seeing the big picture”?  I have...  and it is always in the worst possible moments.  I have to say that unwanted advice always comes when you are sitting smack dab in the middle of a situation and more times than not you’ll hear about this supposed “big picture”.  As if this person is seeing it.   Well if that’s the case, my friend, be my guest and tell me what this big picture is- because I’d love to be looking at it with you.

 

Of course all of that comes out of the mouth of teenage Vanessa.  The girl that was so full of sarcasm and cynicism that looking back I am a bit embarrassed because I was, in fact, too close to the situation and there is most assuredly a “bigger picture”.  So here it is… what I wish someone would have said when I was sitting smack dab in the middle of a seemingly overwhelming situation:

 

Look up.

 

That’s it.  Not that I’m doing it wrong, or I am being too negative.  Just an encouraging word to take a minute, a few minutes, and just- look up.

 

I was a teenage girl with zero hand eye coordination which made extra-curricular activities more of a laughing matter than a reality.  In an attempt to get out of the house when I was in the junior high I joined the track and field team.  Not for the fun things like pole vaulting or the hurdles or even the shot-put.  No, I joined to run.  It wasn’t fun- it was six miles every single humiliating day- but it was the one thing I could do.  And like everything else that involves physical ability, I wasn’t very good at it. 

 

It was almost the end of the season when I found myself in yet another race but this time was different, I wasn’t in last.  I was second to last, but it wasn’t last.  I was so proud of myself as I rounded the last turn until I heard that noise.  Yes, that noise.  The noise of the last place girl only a few steps behind me.  With every ounce of strength I had I tried to push harder but my body was just too tired. The noise grew louder and louder until she was right behind me.  I tried, with everything in me, I tried.  But I just couldn’t.  She passed right in front of me.

 

I knew I was a failure but I wanted one, just one, race that I didn’t feel like it.  One that I could say I wasn’t last.  I mean it’s not like I was going to brag about being second to last, but at least I could say I wasn’t the worst one out there… again.  I gave up in that moment.  I didn’t even want to finish, what was the point?  And then I heard another noise…

 

It was coming from the stands. 

 

At the moment of my failure I heard something I never thought I would hear.  Cheering.  Cheering coming from my dad who had missed all of my meets until this one.  I knew it was him because I knew his voice but I was too embarrassed to look up.  How could he cheer for me?  I was and always have been the worst one on the track.  Wasn’t he ashamed?  Wasn’t he wanting to look away, pretending I was someone else’s daughter?  He didn’t have to claim me.  No one would have known.  He didn’t have to say a word.  But he did. 

 

I hated myself but he was still proud of me… because despite my being in last, I kept going.  I crossed the finish line and in the moment I thought I would have a complete melt down because I had failed, I looked up and found my father’s face.  He was smiling at me.  I wanted to cry but he was smiling. 

 

Have you ever been so ashamed that you sat staring at the ground afraid to look up? Just knowing that someone would catch your eye and confirm your greatest fears, that you were in fact a failure?

 

Last week I wrote about practice not making us perfect, just better than we were the day before.  If you haven’t read it, read it.  It’s true.  Every word of it.  But sometimes even practicing, day in and day out, gets us no closer to our goals.  We’re still running in last place.  So what’s the point?  Why go on?  I may be better, but what is the point if it’s still not “good enough”?

 

If I were to say anything to you facing this same question it is this, look up.

 

God, our heavenly Father, is sitting in the grandstands of life and He is cheering you on.  He isn’t pointing at you with a look of disappointment and shame.  He is saying, keep going.  “A righteous man may fall seven times but he rises again”… and again… and again. 

 

Look up my friend… look up.  Because the “big picture” is that this is just one of many races.  He is proud not of how well you’ve ran, but that you’ve kept running despite everything that has told you to stop.  So keep going.  Keep running.  You might finish before everyone else and receive praise from everyone with how well you ran…. Or you might be so tired, so worn out, that you can barely pull your lifeless, emotionless body across the line to finish altogether… But no matter the race, no matter the outcome, His voice will still be there… so look up.

 

 

Hebrews 12:1-3

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."