Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Change is Coming

Change is coming.  Like a storm on the horizon.  It is inevitable.  No one knows how bad it will be, where exactly it will affect the most, or even who it will drag into the middle of it all.  Only one thing is for sure… it is coming.
 
I can say this with all certainty, without even knowing your precise situation, because I know something both exciting and terrifying that many choose to ignore- life is change.  Whether you love it or hate it, it has always and will always be there.
 
When you are 12 you are promoted to junior high.  You lose recess but get school dances.  You lose friends but get a new school.  Change.
 
When you are 14 you are promoted to high school.  You lose your seniority but get a larger campus.  You lose your voice in a big crowd but get a larger variety of classes.  Change.
 
When you are 18 you graduate high school.  You lose a familiar environment but get a renewed sense of freedom.  You lose friends you’ve spent years making memories with but get the ability to choose the direction for the rest of your life.  Change.
 
When you are in your twenties there are even more changes.  New cities, new schools, new churches, new jobs, new relationships.   You get married and have a baby.  You have three babies.  Change change change.  And of course all of these are just the typical (minus the family of five status) and don’t even include a possible divorce in the family, a death, a big move, a loss of a friendship, a loss of a mentor.  So many things are constantly changing that the only thing you can bet your money on… is change.
 
I have gone through my fair share of transitions, the most recent of which being our big move to Visalia.  And for the sake of complete openness and honesty it was the hardest season of bitterness I have had to walk through to date.  Not because we moved.  Not because we felt we were wrong for moving.  Not even because every single bit of my life was altered.  It was hard because of people.
 
People make change hard.
 
People that I loved and had to leave.  People that we had poured our lives into and were devastated that God had called us on.  People that not only disagreed with our journey but made it a point to tell us how displeased they were.  People that have ignored, shunned, and even stopped believing in the calling of God on our lives because it didn’t match the plan they had for us.  All because of that dirty six letter word; change.
 
In this new season, in this new city, in this new church, and in our new home I am surrounded by an array of newness and I find myself disillusioned instead of delighted.   It isn’t what I thought it would be.  Instead of joy I am feeling loss.  Instead of excitement I am feeling anxiety.  But I know that I am where I am supposed to be, so why does it have to be this hard?  Why does change have to hurt?
 
While talking to (more like word vomiting all over) my beautiful Aunt over the weekend she made a profound statement that has brought me such peace in the midst of this storm.  She said… “you aren’t losing, you’re expanding”.  We see change as loss.  I lost a house that I made memories in.  I lost a youth group that I love dearly.  I lost mentors who once encouraged me.  I lost a sense of purpose that once defined me. But that isn’t the way God sees it.  The Bible says that “His ways are above my ways.  His thoughts are above my thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8). 
 
Everything I thought I had lost, God has expanded.  He has pushed the walls back that I once believed were so immovable and I am living in this idea of “more”.  More places for memories to be made, more students to love on and believe in, more voices that have helped shape and guide me, more vision and possibility than I could see before.  It isn’t loss it is expansion.  It isn’t less it is more. 
 
God’s intentions for our lives, His plans for us, are to move us from glory to glory (from better to even better) but we often see the years pass as two steps forward and one step back.  Something gained and something lost.  We make everything so personal that we forget the “more” that God has in mind.  We see change as bad instead of just different.  We “lose” a friend instead of a friendship being different.  We “lose” a home instead of our home being different.  We “lose” a job instead of a job being different.
 
The only thing we truly lose with change is our preconceived expectations.
 
It isn’t what you thought it would be.  It isn’t how you thought it would go.  It isn’t who you thought would stick around.
 
It isn’t our thoughts, our ways.  And that’s ok.  It never will be.  But know this; you are not alone in it.  We all go through change and will for the rest of our lives.   So get ready, because it is coming. 
 
 
Psalm 18:30
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
 
Psalm 145:17
The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.

1 comment:

  1. laura soares (sara's mom)May 7, 2014 at 8:17 PM

    This is beautiful, profound, and significant! Thank you for sharing. I think I was meant to read them.

    ReplyDelete