Who moved?

We live in a magical land of disappearing mountains…  I wish I was kidding. 

 

We are fifteen minutes, at most, from the bottom of the Sequoia’s and on a good day I can see them from my front yard; giant, glorious, snow-capped mountains.  And then there are the other 6 days of the week that I step outside and all I can see is the sky.  And by “sky” all I mean is the color blue.  Which is far less exciting.

 

I have to say unless you are from the Central Valley this concept is a bit foreign and irrational.  The only way a phenomenon like this could take place is well… in a Disney movie.  Mountains don’t just disappear.  They can’t be here one day and not the next.  They are mountains for goodness’ sake. 

 

But, there are two things I am certain of…

 

I haven’t moved.  I am in the same city, in the same house, with the same front yard. 

 

And, the mountains haven’t moved.  They didn’t wake up one day and decide to reside on some other plain until God Himself decides they should relocate, so come Hell or Noah-high water, they are there.

 

These two factors are not up for debate.  They are constant, unchangeable.  Therefore the only possible thing standing in the way of my beautiful mountain-view, is the sky. 

 

And in this case specifically, the smog in the sky.  It’s tricky and blends in with its’ surroundings.  You wouldn’t even know that it was there except for the fact that it alters the appearance of things familiar to me causing me to try my best to explain to visitors that although it may not look like it now, there are in fact mountains in our skyline.  And when I see their eyes roll a little- or their courtesy head nod- I say more boldly, “no, I promise, they are there!  It may not look like it today, or maybe even tomorrow, but they are there!”       

 

Have you ever tried to convince someone of something that you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt to be true?  

 

Or… have you yourself ever walked away from something that used to be “so clear” but has become murky and confusing?   

 

If so, I hope you can find peace in my mountains. 

 

I have been through seasons of life where I felt like God was more tangible than anything I have ever known, but I have also been through seasons when I have felt like I was completely and utterly on my own.  On the top of the mountain one day only to find myself in search of any mountain at all the next.  And in those moments I ask myself one question.  Have I moved? 

 

This question can only be answered with one of two words- yes or no… So which is it?  Are you feeling confused, uncertain, uneasy?  Have you walked away from friends, mentors, church, or even God?  Have you moved, changed, or done something to create space between when you had peace and now?  And if the answer is no, if you know that you know that you know, that you are exactly where you should be- then let me tell you something my friend.  Something that may seem confusing and absurd at first.  Something that may even be irrational… God hasn’t moved.  It may seem like it.  You may stick your head out of the window of life and be visually assured of what you believe in your heart is already true- but it’s not. 

 

He is there.  He is for you.  And He thinks the world of you.

 

Exodus 14:14 says “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” This verse has brought me more comfort in the last few months than any other...  I shall hold my peace.  The word they use in the Hebrew is “charash”- which literally means to be silent or keep quiet.   It is a verb, a deliberate action of controlling yourself from speaking and thus “holding” onto peace.   When I start to feel confused or uncertain of things I remind myself of this verse.  I remind myself to just stop… to trust God… to hold my tongue… and to grip down on the unchangeable truths found in the Word.  So be it smog, storm, cloud, or flood- whatever may be getting in the way of my beautiful peaceful view- I will plant myself on the solid rock of Jesus Christ until it passes by.  I will be immovable. Unshakeable.  Certain of what my eyes temporarily cannot see.  I will HOLD my peace until everything clears up again.  And my prayer for you, is that you will too.

 

 

 

 

Matthew 28:20

And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Weird is the New Cool

When I was in the fourth grade my family moved from a small town in Central California to a city that had a grocery store just down the street, and believe me that is a notable fact especially when you once had to drive 45 minutes each way.  This move was the beginning of a lot of new things for me; a new house, a new school, new friends… and a new word that would creep into the depths of my heart and become my very identity for too long.  I wonder, just maybe, if this little word has crept into your life as well. And if it has, you are not alone.

 

* * *

 

We moved in the middle of the school year and the school I had gone to before was much further along educationally, despite our tiny town, than the one I was now seated in.  To make up for this, I was given flash cards to study while the class continued on with their daily work.  Many times during the week the teacher would ask a question and minutes would go by in complete silence until I would look up at the board, raise my hand, and give the answer only to look back down and continue on in my own little world.  I don’t say this braggingly.  In fact, it is something I wish I could forget.  I hated being that girl.  And that’s when I was first introduced to the word…  Sitting with my head down looking at my box of cards I heard a kid whisper, “she’s so weird”. 

 

Weird

 

Just seeing the word makes me want to punch something, but I digress.

 

In high school things didn’t change too much.  By my senior year I found myself eating lunch in a choir room in the back of the school, taking my own sister to my senior ball because I was the only one of my friends who hadn’t been asked.  Yes I had a few friends.  I even had great grades.  I was an intern in our youth group.  I brought ten to twenty students with me every week to church.  I was involved with marching band all four years and even made it to be a section leader.  I thought by the time my senior year rolled around I would have grown out of it but then the last school newspaper came out- the one with all of the “most likely to this” or “most that”- and I found my name…  you would think that I would have been ecstatic to have been voted for something... to have been noticed… but it wasn’t something I wanted to be known for.  “Most unique”, that is what I was voted… most unique, which I was sure was just another way of saying someone who doesn’t fit in, different, uncool, or weird.

 

Years later I still have days when I walk into a new environment and think to myself “do I fit in here?” And it is with great sadness (and joy- if that’s even possible) that I say that some days the answer will be no.  Really?  No?  Why would I be happy about that?  Why did the very word that once destroyed any ounce of self-esteem now become the thing I am most proud of?  Why wouldn’t I want to fit in?

 

Do I want to feel like I belong here?  Absolutely, we all do.  You have great purpose and BELONG just like I do.  But we shouldn’t strive to fit in.  We don’t fit.  We are square pegs trying to be shoved into tiny circle holes and being told that if we don’t conform we are weird.  (Yes, we are squares.  I said it.)  Don’t give in, don’t compromise values or your faith, don’t settle for folding in your corners to fit into a tiny space that culture will allow you to be in.  No, my friends, just no.

 

The bible says that we shouldn’t “conform to the patterns of this world, but [we should] be transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2).  Conformity is for faceless, nameless, robots and you beautiful girl (or kind sir… you know just in case my husband reads this) are not that.  You are weird.  Yes I said that too.  You are a weird square.  One who I hope is still reading even after all of this name calling. 

 

I want to encourage you to embrace the things that make you different.  Culture may say it’s not cool to wear turtle necks but if you love them then you just go on rocking them anyway.  Because we aren’t here to please culture.  We are here to please God.  And I hate to point it out but that will make you a “hater” sometimes, or a “hypocrite”, or just plain “weird”.  And that’s ok.  I know it doesn’t feel good, but it’s gonna be ok. 

 

If what you are doing, saying, wearing, or thinking is pleasing to God- then just keep on doing it.  He is faithful and just as He called the Israelites out of Egypt to be “separate” to lead them through the wilderness to the Promised Land, He will do the same for you.  If I could grab my 8 year old self and look her straight in the face, I would tell her it was all going to be ok.  That I made it.  That being different isn’t the worst thing that could happen.  Being the same is. 

 

So be quirky.  Crazy.  Sensational.  And for Pete's sake, be weird!

 

 

2 Corinthians 6:17

“Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.”

Chocolate Cake is Good!

In recent conversation I found myself saying how I would love to visit New York but never live there.  As soon as the words had escaped my mouth I thought, wait… really?  Did I mean that?  Why would I say that?  New York sounds amazing!  But the more I have thought about it the more I agree with what seems to be a somewhat wise girl trapped inside this crazy body of mine. 

 

Imagine, if you will, having a momentary lapse in commitment to your newest “diet”.  We all have them.  Our “fat” days that cause us to rethink all of our food choices until that giant piece of chocolate cake is offered to us and we decide that it would be just rude to deny taking it.  Or a friend calls and has had the worst night of her life so you tell her to come over so you can both eat your feelings in a giant bowl (or carton) of ice cream.  Guilty!

 

That dessert is worth it, and delicious… but can you imagine having that dessert every day for a year?  Not just for one meal but for all meals?  I can tell you that by the end of the first day you will not want to look at another piece of cake again for the rest of your life.  Not because it isn’t good- it is- but it isn’t special anymore, it’s expected… familiar… boring.

 

Imagine if we were to assume the same thing of our friendships, churches or even our relationships with God?  Imagine taking for granted that your friends have always been there for you and allowing something small to get in between you?  Or what if the church that you used to be so excited to bring your friends to became ordinary and even you had to fight to get yourself up out of bed on a Sunday morning to go?  Or worst of all, what if God has proven Himself over and over to be faithful in your life and slowly you stop spending time with Him until one day you question if He is even there?

 

It reminds me of Samson; an imperfect man with an incredible gift from God, his strength. Beyond that Samson had something else of the greatest importance- a relationship with God.  In reading the story recorded of Samson in Judges 16 you come across one  of the most horrific statements every recorded… (vs. 20) “when he woke up, he thought, ‘I will do as before’… but he didn’t realize the Lord had left him.”

 

When something becomes routine, even the most extraordinary of things can become ordinary.  There is no other option, if we do not realize it, other than to take it for granted. 

 

Another baptism night… another testimony… another story of deliverance…

 

“But he didn’t realize the Lord had left him.” 

 

Why wouldn’t he realize?  How could he not even notice that the Lord was not with him?  More than we’d probably like to admit, we find ourselves doing the very same thing that caused Samson to wake up alone on that dreadful day… “when he woke up he thought, ‘I will do as before’…”  I will do as before.  I will do as… BEFORE.

 

I’ll just go to that one person who prayed for me.  I’ll just recite those two scriptures.  I’ll just find that one place at the altar that I felt God last.  I’ll just pat my head and rub my stomach because it worked LAST TIME.  I’ll just do as I did BEFORE.

 

God is not living in the past, and neither should our relationships with Him be.

 

My challenge today is for myself.  To look around at the relationships in my life as if it is for the first time.  To look beyond current  or past (temporary) circumstances that have been preventing me from seeing the bigger picture.  To remind myself, because we are human and we forget, how truly good God is and how blessed we really are.  To be intentional with our words and our actions.  And to not go through life flippantly expecting that things will stay the same and require no further action on our part. I will not do as I did before, but I will do something new.  Because God is chocolate cake… and chocolate cake is GOOD!

 

 

Psalm 34:8

 Taste and see that the Lord is good.  Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

 

 

 

 

 

Isaiah 43:18-19

 Do not [earnestly] remember the former things;

 neither consider the things of old.

Behold, I am doing a new thing!