By: Vanessa Shepherd
Have you ever seen a pin and just said,
“Yes, this pin gets me”.
I found one of those lately.
It described exactly what I was feeling…
Yes. Just yes. To so many things in life, yes. This pin doesn’t just sum up this “winter” season we are having here in the Central Valley (let’s just say we have experienced all four seasons… in one month) but so many other areas of life. Like finances- yes savings, some savings, yes savings, what savings- it’s like the worst Dr. Seuss book ever written. Or even more so, friends- yes friends, best friends, might be friends, frenemeies. Do you see where I am going with this? It is like a giant game of tug of war, one step forward and three steps back. All the while leaving me uncertain of where I stand.
Life is funny that way. We start to doubt “us” when others change their opinions of us. And boy do they change them often. And not just regarding friendships, but something of the utmost importance- our faith. It’s frustrating and often confusing if you aren’t aware of the game but it is just that, a game, orchestrated by the author of confusion himself.
Don’t get caught up in it all ,sweet girls. It isn’t you. It’s them. They want nothing more than for you to keep God in a box and pull Him out only when absolutely necessary. But that is not how we are supposed to live. God isn’t only for the “appropriate” times, He is for “all” times. The good, the bad, and the slept so hard your face is covered in drool and your arms are numb ugly. And if I had one thing to say to them, one request for the benefit of us all, it would be this…
Dear Society, please stop asking me to be a hypocrite.
Please stop throwing out words like “hater” or “hypocrite” or “holier than thou”. That is not who I am, that is not who we are. I am truly sorry that you have experienced such things, there are extremists in all walks of life not just those who profess Christianity, and I would ask that you not only stop referring to us as such but, if you can, stop asking us to be one.
You tell us that prayers make you uncomfortable, but then ask us to pray when tragedies arise.
You tell us it is great to have our own opinions, but then tell us the ones we have are wrong.
You tell us we can disagree with a lifestyle, but then tell us we are ridiculous for not being entertained by it on TV.
You tell us all about your poor choices (dare we call them sins), but then ask us to be happy for you.
And that one… that one hurts the most. I have spent so many of my conversations with non-believers, unbelievers, want-to-believers, who rave about their life and their poor choices and say they just want me to “be happy for them”!
Society! Do you even know what you are asking? You can’t have it both ways!!! You can’t tolerate that I have religious beliefs and then ask me to deny them to suffice your need to feel some sort of approval from me. (That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works!)
A part of me shutters inside when I, out of respect for you, allow you to go on and on with your recollection of your “crazy” weekends or inappropriate relationships. Those things that you are speaking so casually of, those things that you are bragging about, those very things separate you from a loving God and there is no way I can possibly say with all sincerity. “I am happy for you”. Because I am not. I can’t be. It is too hard.
I love you, but I can never or will ever be “happy” that someone chooses to live a life apart from Him. The One who gave His only Son to die a brutal death for you. Because He loved you so much. Because He still loves you so much.
Not because I am a “hater”, or a “hypocrite”, or “holier than thou”... but because these beliefs that I cling to are absolute and unchanging despite my wants or desires.
If you are to know anything about me my dear friend Society, then know this, I still love you. I don’t understand you or agree with you, but I love you. You are filled with the most fascinating of people and while my heart seems to be bombarded daily by our imperfect world I still have one thing that keeps me going- the one thing you so desperately wish to silence- my faith. I have faith that despite your years of spitting in the face of God, that one day you will turn to Him.
So I will keep going despite your confusing antics. I will keep loving despite your continual attacks.
Because He loves you.
Because I love you.
And I will never stop. You may not understand me, or agree with me, but please stop asking me to change. Stop asking me to be a hypocrite.
Hebrews 11:1
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen;
it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Luke 16:13
No servant is able to serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other,
or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God
and mammon (riches, or anything in which you trust and on which you rely).
Awesome!
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