A bunch of Humpty Dumpty People

Today is my first day back in “routine”, so to speak, after a wonderful beach vacation with my little family.  You would think by looking at my third cup of coffee (so far) that it wasn’t much of a vacation, but I assure you it was WONDERFUL!  Jacob was teething and kept us up most nights.  Michael exercised his right to say “no” and I exercised my right to parent which meant keeping him inside the trailer for hours at a time.  We spent hours in a car and even more hours applying sunscreen to our very pale second child (ok, that might be an exaggeration but we did spend quite some time to adequately cover every inch of his body).   We missed every whale and dolphin siting, and gave up our almost comfortable bed so our friends could stay with us a few nights.  But all of that is nothing compared to the joy that filled my heart as I saw my parents stand up from inside of the trailer as we walked in, scaring the daylights out of me, or my boys laughing and running alongside the ocean as if it carried away all of their cares and worries with the tide.  There is something so calming, so peaceful about the sound of the waves, the smell of salt in the air, or the feeling of the sun on your skin.  Vacation.  Glorious vacation.

 

On our last night at the beach we took a walk with our little family along the shoreline.  Michael promptly began his search for sand dollars left by the ocean solely for him to find.  We came across quite a few along the way.  All broken of course.  The many, many broken ones didn’t deter him from running up and down the water’s edge examining each lump in the sand with hopeful expectation.   At the end of our trip he had found three.  And when I say that he found three what I really mean is that I very subtly guided his footsteps so that he would notice the whole shells that I had already seen.  I am thankful there were some to find, it is hard to explain to a four year old boy that he must give up his quest without anything to show for it.  I am sure we have all been in that situation where we have been searching or waiting for something for hours, weeks, or even days without any luck.  It is saddening.  Disheartening.  Even painful. 

 

As a junior in high school on that very same beach, I remember walking up and down the shoreline wanting so badly to just find one whole sand dollar that I could take home to remind me of our trip.  Every time I thought I had found one, I would turn it over to see that the birds had gotten to it first.  It was irritating at first and then that irritation turned into frustration.  I finally (almost jokingly) said out loud to the heavens, “God, why can’t I just find one?”  I am not one to say that God speaks to me audibly every day, but in that moment I could almost hear Him say to me- “I didn’t come for the whole ones, I came for the broken.”  I stopped dead  in my tracks.  Uncertain of what had just happened.   Was that Him?  Was He listening?  Was He listening to me this whole time as I hopelessly walked back and forth frustrated with my lack of finding anything that met my standards?  Those words made such an impact on me that I stopped what I was doing, and began picking up the broken pieces.  He was teaching me in that moment.  Teaching me about what it meant to care for the brokenness of people, to not judge or hate or look away but extend a hand or shoulder to cry on.  To be the light.  To show the love of God.  Because He didn’t send His son to an earth filled with perfect people, He sent His son to an earth filled with brokenness. 

 

Sometimes what we are looking for is not what we are meant to find.  God’s ways are above our ways, His thoughts above our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).  He can see the whole picture, He sees what we cannot see, and in His goodness very subtly He guides our footsteps so that we notice what He already knows to be true.  We look for happiness in experiences and He shows us true happiness found in a relationship with Him.  We look for love and acceptance from people and He shows us that we already have His love and acceptance.  We look for purpose in everyday life and He shows us that we were created with purpose for everyday life.  We are looking for the wrong things.  We are getting frustrated and tired because we have spent too much time looking for the wrong things.

 

The next party or high may make you happy for a moment but it will not last.  The acceptance of the popular crowd or butterflies in your stomach from a boyfriend may make you feel loved for a moment but it will not last.  The job that takes up 40-50 hours of your week may make you feel full of purpose for a moment but it will not last.  Maybe, just maybe, you are looking for the wrong thing.

 

Let’s lift up our eyes.  It is bigger than all of this my friends.  Let’s not get so discouraged with broken shells that we miss the lesson altogether.  For me, if I would have found what I was looking for that day it would have gotten broken, forgotten and thrown away by now. But the image of the broken sand dollars scattered on the shores, being stepped on every day by careless and unknowing people, picked at by birds scouring the ground for food, is something that I remember so vividly even to this day.  It is where my journey and heart for ministry began.  Where I found my purpose, not my job, for waking up every morning. Broken people.   In all of my strength and hot glue I could never restore the wholeness that was taken from those shells.  But everyday I wake up praying that I can help others get a little closer to the knowledge of a loving God who is the only one who can put a bunch of Humpty Dumpty people like us together again.

 

Take a deep breath.  Lift up your eyes.  Take a step back.  And ask God what you might be missing.  Who knows, it could just lead you to the edge of a vast ocean… staring down at some broken shells.

 

 

Proverbs 16:25

There is a way that seems right to a man

and appears straight before him,

but at the end of it is the way of death.

 

 

Matthew 16:52-54

Then Jesus said to him, Put your sword back into its place,

for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.⁵³ Do you suppose

that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will immediately provide Me

with more than twelve legions [more than 80,000] of angels?

⁵⁴ But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled,

that it must come about this way?

 

 

 

With All of my Heart

Every mother has a catch phrase that she tells her kids from time totime.  My mom’s was “You’re my favorite,but don’t tell the other kids”.  Ofcourse she did this to all of us- more times than not right in front of myother siblings- but it still made us feel special.  I have found my own recently.  From the time my boys were small I have toldthem that I loved them “with all of my heart”. I never thought anything of it, never thought that they would rememberme by this, until my four year old recently developed this wonderful game outof it.  The way it works is this, wheneverI say “I love you with all of my heart” he replies with “I love you with all ofmy [insert funny body part or bodily function here]”.   We go back and forth with this for as longas we have funny things to say and it always ends the same, with us laughingand Michael looking into my face and saying “Mom, I love YOU with all of myheart”.  It’s my most favorite thing todo these days with this boy that no longer fits in my lap to cuddle.

 

In one of our last bouts of playing “I love you with all of my…”Michael came up with my favorite one yet. I had just said something silly like “I love you with all of my earwax”when out of nowhere he comes back with “I love you with all of my BACK HAIR”.  Really child, back hair?   Ihaven’t laughed that hard in a long time. You see, I am one quarter Lebanese and my child (who is only one eighth)has picked up many of the genes from my grandmother’s side.  He has olive skin tone, was born with thickblack hair, and has more hair on his body than I believe most men my age have.  Most four year olds would never have thoughtto insert this little gem into our game, because it is foreign to them- but notfor my son!  Let me tell you, this childhas… back…hair…!  And I suppose he has meto thank for that.

 

When I was in seventh grade there was one particular day after gymclass that I remember a couple of boys calling me monkey girl.  Of course they were referring to my dark,long hair arm and ears that stuck out more than a giraffe’s neck, or at leastthat’s what it felt like.  I wentstraight to the bathroom and cried until my next class.  I had never felt so embarrassed and ashameduntil that moment.  I knew I had morehair than the other girls, and I knew that my ears stuck out but I didn’t wantanyone else to notice that.  When I camehome from school that day the first thing that I did was to take out my razorand shave all of that arm hair off.  Mymom had always told me not to because it would grow back thicker and darker,but in that moment I didn’t care.  I didn’twant to ever hear again that I looked like an animal.  I didn’t want to be monkey girl anymore!  I wouldwear my hair down and shave my arms and that would be the end of it.

 

When Michael referred to his back hair, I laughed at first… and then... Istopped.  I stopped because somethinginside of me was afraid that one day someone would look at him and call himnames.  Cause him to believe that therewas something wrong with him.  My heartwas saddened because I love this boy WITH ALL OF MY HEART and I would neverwant him to be embarrassed by any part of him. And if that day comes when someone tries to hurt him because theythemselves are hurting, I pray that he remembers our little game.  That I not only love him with the bestqualities, but with the most embarrassing ones as well.  I love him with my awkward ears because withthem I can hear what he needs to say to me. I love him with my giant front teeth because they help me eat the sandwichesthat he makes for me.  I love him with my“toe thumbs” because with them I can rub his very hair back when he says he’shurt it falling off of his bed.  I lovehim with not just part of me, I love him with ALL of me.

 

Sometimes I think we hinder ourselves from a close relationship withGod because we are embarrassed that if He gets too close then He will discoversomething about us that isn’t so pleasant. When the bible says in Luke 10:27 to “love the LORD your God with all your heart,all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind” it is saying to us thateven with the not so beautiful areas. Even when your mind is full of hateful thoughts, even when you’ve lostall strength to fight back, even when you’ve lost faith in yourself and in God,even in those times we were stillcreated to love Him with ALL.  It isn’tshocking to God.  He knows.  He knows and He still loves you.  You are not hidden from Him no matter how hardyou try.  I love how a great mentor ofmine put it; he said “you can’t cause God to stop loving you, because you didn’tdo anything to cause Him to start loving you”. He just does. 

 

Somy challenge for you is this- love God with all.  Don’t hold back.  Be honest about where you are failing andwavering, it doesn’t scare Him.  No onehas it all together.  Life is hard andmessy and ever-changing, but we serve a God who isn’t.  You can trust Him... with all.

 

 

Psalm 118:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

Walking Talkers

Three friends decide to take a hiking trip.  While at the top of the mountain two of them sit down for a quick breather while the third finally gets reception and makes a much anticipated phone call.  She is a talker, but even more than that… she is a walking talker.  You know those people that can’t really stand still when they are talking to you.  

 

With the hand motions and the pacing back and forth... walking talkers.  

 

She is so caught up in the moment and the conversation that she doesn’t realize that she is headed toward the cliff.  The two friends (Sally and Jane we’ll call them to not get the story confused) notice what is happening.  It isn’t so alarming at first but the closer she gets the more urgent it becomes.  Sally decides to keep silent.  Afraid to interrupt her seemingly very exciting conversation.  She just sits there waiting for the worst to happen.  If you think this is crazy then you would be more like Jane who sees that Sally has kept silent and decides to speak up.  A little less alarmed at first until her warnings go unnoticed and her response turns to full blown panic.  My question for you is- which has the greater love?

 

Maybe it sounds absurd to think of a friend who would sit silently while watching someone they profess to care for walk off of the side of a mountain but we do it every day.  As a fifteen year old girl dealing with many struggles of my own I turned to cutting to help ease my pain.  Weeks went by until my mother noticed and threatened to take me to a mental hospital but settled on counseling instead.  I wish I could say that counseling helped me, that sharing all of my bottled up emotions made everything better, but I didn’t share and I wasn’t better.  I started cutting my hips instead in an attempt to make my parents believe that I was ok again.  Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months.  I am sure the cut marks were seen- sometimes I wonder if they were even talked about behind my back- but no one yelled out to me.  I was walking toward a cliff and no one was yelling out to me.  Finally two friends were concerned enough to tell a school counselor.  I was LIVID.  I hated them for “telling on me”.  I didn’t understand that this hurtful act of betrayal was really an expression of true love. 

 

The bible says In James 1:14-15 “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”  We know sin to be many things.  The bible tells us that sexual immorality, drunkenness, gossip, lying, murder, envy, homosexuality and many other things are sins.  And as James tells us, if sin is allowed to grow (continually choosing to act on it in spite of what the Word teaches) then we are choosing death.  We are walking towards a cliff- choosing death.  So again I ask, which has the greater love?  The person who sits in silence as they pick up their friend night after night from yet another party filled with too much drinking, the person who says nothing when a friend shares about how far she’s gone with her newest boyfriend (despite the obvious physical, emotional, and spiritual harm), the person who turns their head as their friend empties yet another bottle of anti-depressants and dismisses lunch for the fifth time this week, or the person who cares enough to look into their eyes and say that enough is enough.  

 

Now don’t go all GI Jane on me and become the sin police.  My pastor said it best, “Never invoke a personal prejudice and call it holiness”.  Speak the truth IN LOVE, that’s what Ephesians 4:15 says to do.  In LOVE.  Not out of religious duty or out of a heart filled with anger, but out of compassion for the person who struggles deeply with this issue.  Out of concern for the path that they are taking knowing full well that it will take them straight over the edge of a cliff.  And out of love for their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  I do not mind being called out on areas that I may be failing in, as long as I can look into the eyes of the friend calling me out and know that it is done out of love.  I look back on my two friends and thank God for them.  I am where I am today because of them.  You are reading this post right now because of them.  We could all use a few more friends like that  in our lives.  The world has enough silent Sally’s; it’s time to be a Jane!

 

John 13:34-35

³⁴ So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.

Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

³⁵ Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

Change and Choice

Sleep, it isn’t like missing a show that you can catch up on later.  It is a sacrifice.  I am so thankful for the leaders and pastors who opted to sacrifice their sleep for this last weekend at the girl’s conference.  It was not in vein- what an incredible two days!  I had the privilege of speaking to the girls during the last session and I wanted to share a familiar story found in the New Testament with all of them.  I hope this small snidbit from that session speaks to you as well…

"I am sure you have read or at least heard the story of Saul on the road to Damascus (found in Acts 9) before, but I want to tell it from a different point of view. When I was in Sunday school I always pictured him as a monster of a man who hated anything to do with God.  It wasn’t that much of a leap considering that he is throwing Christians into prison, and said to be “eager to kill them”.   But that assumption is incredibly wrong.  I don’t know how big of a man he was, but he believed in God.  So much so that he was very well educated in the Jewish traditions, and kept every one of them.  Saul believed in God, but He did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God.  When Saul asked “Who are you, Lord” and heard back “I am Jesus” he was given a choice.  Stick to what he has known and been taught his entire life or do a complete turnaround on his beliefs and accept that Jesus is in fact, the Son of God. 

Have you ever faced a choice?  A big one?  A real belief or conviction challenging decision?  Should I date this boy, should I go to this party, should I hang out with this group of friends, should I join in on their gossip, should I hold on to this bitterness… I am not saying that you will hear an audible voice booming down from heaven that knocks you off of your horse, mainly because we don’t ride horses… and also because very few hear the audible voice of God… But I am saying that God will call out to you.  He’ll call out to you for your salvation, He’ll call out to you for a change of direction, He’ll call out to you when you are about to make a huge mistake, He’ll call out to you when you feel you are all alone… He’ll call out to you… This amazing God that we serve is so involved with us as a person, He cares so much about the details of our lives that He will try to get our attention.  And when He calls, it is always followed up with a choice.  To follow His leading or to follow our own.  To let Him be the author of our stories, guiding our steps, or to trust only in ourselves (or those we surround ourselves with) and ignore Him entirely. 

 

By all means, this hatred, this dysfunction, this hurt is all we’ve known.  Who are we to think we are “better” than our friends or family?  If I rejected how I’ve been taught to react what would they think?  WHO CARES!!!!  They didn’t write your story and they sure aren’t living it!  Saul’s parents’ raised him to believe in God.  He was passionate about God- enough so that he was angered by what he believed to be blasphemy against the Word of God.  I am sure that they were well intentioned people but they were wrong.  And without a real encounter with God, without a relationship with Him, Saul would have never had the revelation that he was in fact headed down the same wrong path. We can follow all of the advice of our friends or the “rules of religion” that we want but without knowing the author of our own stories our well intentions will always get us into trouble.  It is not enough to be a good person.  Our goodness will never be good enough.  We need to know HIM.  We need to listen to HIM.  We need to follow HIM.

Do you want to know how to find true success in life?  It is found in this simple nursery rhyme…

"Change your reactions, to things that will be.
Choose the right author, to write your story.
If there were ever a key to finding your voice,
It’s in knowing the power of two words; change and choice."

 

This is our life, our story.  And only God can lead us to our Happily Ever After."

I saw her...

My husband and I are youth pastors at a great church here in Stockton, CA and we dedicated the month of February to a series we are calling "He, She".  Original, right?  The month of love and we talk about relationships.  But I can honestly say that this series, hands down, is becoming one of my all time favorites.  I couldn't help but laugh out loud (with my obnoxiously high pitched laugh I might add) last week as my wonderful husband shared about his ability- or lack thereof- to open our double stroller exemplifying the differences between men and women.  He does everything short of banging the thing up against the side of our car while I can come up behind him holding our 14 month old, drinking my coffee, talking on the phone, and push both buttons while flinging the stroller with one hand to open it.  It is just the perfect depiction of the differences between him and I, and I am sure that God intended it this way.

 

Multi-tasking isn't just something that happens, it is something that I work at and take great pride in.  I love being able to turn an entire to-do list into a to-done list before the end of the day.  Cleaning, planning, organizing, crafting, baking, cooking and... mommy-ing.. this is the story of my everyday life and I wouldn't have it any other way!  Looking around I believe that many other people share my love of getting multiple things accomplished simultaneously.  I mean come on, the phrase "two birds with one stone" has been around forever, need I say more?  When I was a kid a phone was the size of your head and could only make phone calls.  Now we can call, text, e-mail, Facebook, shop, take pictures, and play games all from one device that can fit into our pocket.  Society loves multi-tasking.

 

I am not discrediting the many MANY benefits of it, but have you ever stopped to think that by doing so much at one time we are actually hurting ourselves more than helping?  I have noticed that teenagers (and dare I say people in general) don't talk, go for walks, resolve problems face to face, or even make eye contact as much as they did when we first started out in youth ministry over 6 years ago.  We are forever connected to the world through the all powerful internet and thereby not really connected at all.  Let's face it, we are distracted by multi-tasking.

 

Last year I was scheduled to preach for one of our Wednesday night services but our boys came down with some fierce colds and while I humored the idea of staying home, my husband insisted that he come home instead.  He thinks it is just as important for teenagers to see us doing ministry together; I love this about him.  On my way to the church I noticed that due to the time of day traffic was getting a little congested so I turned down a side street to take the back way instead.  After a few turns I found myself in the middle "suicide" lane so I could turn down another back street before getting back on the main road.  I was waiting for the SUV to pass so that I could turn behind him.  The light was red for his side of traffic.  The cars were backed up on his side making the last car in line completely parallel with mine.  He kept coming.  The light was still red.  And he just kept coming.  No brakes.  The light was still red and he kept coming.  I was 3 feet away from the woman as he drove full speed into the back of her car and I knew that was the last moment she would ever have here on earth.

 

My heart stopped and my hands started shaking, as I pulled to the side of the road.  I get out of the car to see the man examining his car and all I could think was "ARE YOU REALLY THAT SELF CONSUMED TO NOT REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?"  He was distracted by attempting to do too many things at once and it cost a woman her life.  I had to wait until the police came to give an account of what I had seen.  I saw the firemen pull her shoeless body from the car and I wondered where could she have possibly been going without her shoes.  I saw them doing their very best to resuscitate her.  And then I saw them put her body in a last ditch effort into the back of an ambulance rushing to the hospital where she was later pronounced dead.  I saw her. 

I saw her. 

Until that moment I was in a rush to get where I was going, but in that moment none of it seemed important anymore. 

 

Friends, in the midst of our tasks and to-do's let us never forget to put our full attention in the here and now.  See the beauty in the journey, don't just speed through.  Spend time with God, read your Word, take a walk, talk to a friend, tell someone how much they mean to you.  Take a moment to just stop what you are doing and ask yourself at the end of your life if you really would wish you had spent more time cleaning, working, or organizing instead of spending time with God and the ones you love.  Goals are important, but they will never compare to the importance of people that come into your life. 

 

I am reminded of this when I read about how Jesus met with the woman at the well.  Why, you may ask.  It is simple, if He was focused on getting to his next destination He would have never been there.  It was completely out of His way.  It was not convenient.  It was not of great benefit to Him.  It did not accomplish anything other than temporarily quenching his thirst and expressing to a broken woman that she was greatly loved by a Heavenly Father that she didn't even know.  And it is even more beautiful because in scripture it put that He "had" to go there.  If you think about it, all throughout scripture the number of stories that happen unplanned far outweigh the ones they had planned for.  I am so thankful that Jesus wasn't too distracted for me when I needed Him.  People are what make life beautiful... and interesting... and painful... and every other emotion that you can imagine.  But despite it all, people are worth putting life on hold for a minute.  Don't get distracted with temporary things; put all of your attention on one thing and show the love of God to somebody today!

Luke 10:40-42

⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” ⁴¹ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴² There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Poor Teddy!

Michael has this adorable teddy bear that he cannot sleep without. If ever I put him down for a nap and his teddy isn't safely tucked into the covers next to him, I have to turn the house upside down practically until I find it. I have found that stuffed bear in many a places. Strange places I might add. Once I found him shoved behind the pots and pans, and another time he was sitting in a chair "reading a book". Now these are just places that he has been left, Michael plays with this silly thing all day as if it were real. He wrestles with it (which is a little confusing for me considering that it isn't alive, so it would be more accurate I guess to say that he jumps on it and throws it all over the living room).  He drives with it in the car safely buckled in beside him and eats with it. Seriously folks, I have to make teddy a plate of imaginary food for him to eat at lunch time.  He is Michael’s best friend but if things don’t change this poor thing won’t make it to my sons next birthday in one piece! 

 

A few girls had come over yesterday to discuss our girls conference (which is four weeks away might I add and I am beyond excited), and we all had a good laugh at the way he drug poor teddy around the house.  His “best friend” was trampled on more times than I can count and yet safely carried with him to nap time.  I couldn’t help but think that this situation could portray so many relationships in our own lives.  We work so hard to be the best we can be to those who know us least, but those who know us most more often than we’d like to admit get the worst of us.   It isn’t something that I am proud to admit but it is true.  I can keep pretty calm and composed while a person “gives me a piece of their mind” but heaven help my husband if he ever did so with the wrong “tone”.  We drag our relationships through the mud, throw them around like rag dolls and expect them to last forever.  Your friends can suck it up for a few years but after a while they will get tired of the roller coaster and get off the ride.  It’s time to work on us.  It’s time to do right and speak right.  It’s time to be the better person that you know you can be so that your relationships don’t end before they should.  It’s time.

 

It has been said that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  I have been made very aware of this over the past few years and I wasn’t so fond of it at first.  I was mad when friendships ended or faded out, and I was confused when some people stuck around.  I have come to the conclusion that no matter my expectations, I am thankful for all three types of people.  I am thankful that some people ran through my life like a sprint but helped me see things differently, I am thankful that some people only lasted through a season but helped me keep sane through difficult situations, and I am thankful for those who just keep coming around no matter the ups and downs.  And while I am thankful for those who are with me throw the thick and thin, I am also committed to growing into a better person not only for myself but also for these special few.  I want these lifetime people to in fact last a lifetime so it’s time I treated people the way I know I should, with a heart full of love and forgiveness.  Not that I haven’t done my best, just keeping that little teddy in mind.  And even if this little reminder is just for me, then I will focus on being a better person… for the sake of the teddy’s in my life!

 

Proverbs 17:9

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.

The Sisterhood

When is the last time that you went shopping for a pair of pants?  Does anyone else get discouraged like I do that after fifty trips to the dressing room you are still left empty handed?  It isn't that I can't find anything to fit my "mom" hips, a pair long enough for my tall frame, or even that I can't find a few pairs to fit my chicken legs.  But there are few jeans that can do all three.  And even fewer that can attractively do all three.  I was reminded of this fact when I recently perused the racks after receiving a few gift cards for Christmas.  I am sure it was confusing for the other women in the dressing room to hear laughter coming from one of the stalls, but when I try on a pair of jeans "my size" and it looks like I am getting ready for the great flood- it is hard not to laugh.  And for those who know me, you know that my laugh can be heard from miles away so there is no keeping it to myself.  Thanks Mom for that!

 

All of this got me thinking of a movie that came out quite a few years back.  One I admittedly have never seen but it's storyline was interesting none-the-less.  It was called "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".  I am sure that you have heard of it.  In this movie there are these magical pair of jeans.  How do I know that they are magical?  Because they fit four friends who are different shapes and sizes, perfectly.  My sister and I don't even fit each other's pants perfectly!  Magic I tell you.  And by magic I mean that the movie crew bought a few pairs of the same jeans in different sizes so that it would appear that they were all passing around one pair of pants.  Myth busted! 

 

Anywho, it got me thinking about friendship and girls in general.  Too often it isn't a pair of pants I see being passed around, if we were to make a movie based on real life we could more accurately call it "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Past".  Why is it that girls are so hard on eachother?  A school campus is like a war-zone with every girl for herself.  We judge a girl by what we've heard about her before even getting to know her.  And, even worse, we are at competition with one another- waiting for someone else to fail so that way we look better.  I wish that I could say that it gets better after high school but the truth is that I see it among women everyday.  Something happens over the weekend and by the time Monday rolls around everyone knows about it.  Oh-em-gossip ladies!  Let's make a choice to keep other people's business out of our conversations!

 

This type of behavior is not what God intended when he created women.  We were not meant to be competition with one another, but to be friends and comrades.  A sisterhood.  We are all facing the same image-is-everything, self-centered, media driven world and it is time we linked arms, putting aside our pasts, and stood up for eachother.  It's all about love, girls, LOVE.  It is the only commandment we were given in the New Testament.  To love God and to love people.  The kind of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 that "keeps no record of wrong" and "believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things."  Although we may only apply this type of thinking to a dating or marriage relationship, the truth is that these words were written to instruct us how to treat everyone.  The girl who has given herself away too many times to count needs your love, the girl who bullies others to feel superior needs your love, the girl who shares gossip like she gets paid to needs your love, the girl who is mysteriously quiet and reserved needs your love and the girl who pretends to have it all together needs your love.  They need the love that believes in them, hopes for them, and endures with them.  They need the kind of love that doesn't hold their past over their heads or join in when others turn their backs on them.  They need a sisterhood.  We all do.

 

This love should be the thing that we all pass around.  And believe me, it looks good on everybody!  So with the best of my ability, you can trust that I will have your back.  I will speak well of you, believe the best for you, and encourage or challenge you to become the women that God made you to be.  I will not allow myself to feel let down or offended by your choices, hurt or rejected by your words.  I will forgive you no matter the circumstance, knowing that I daily am in need of forgiveness.  I will believe in you.  I will pray for you.  And even (or in some cases- especially) if the feeling is not mutual, I will love you.

 

 

Luke 6:35

I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return.

You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created

identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously,

 even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

(The MESSAGE)