What The What

I have been thinking a lot lately that I should get a few books to read, for fun.  I see all these intelligent women post pictures of themselves reading in a park on a sunny day and I think, that looks so relaxing.  If you have known me for very long then you would see how absurd this is, because I am not… a “reader”.  Not for fun anyway.  I read to get information, to get guidance, to get opinion, to get encouragement, but certainly not for fun.  My mind races around to a thousand different things that I could be doing to benefit me in the five minutes it takes to get through the first paragraph after rereading it time after time because I really wasn’t reading it at all.  That being said, I have been thinking about getting a book.  Not just any book, but something I might actually enjoy so that I do not feel like I wasted minutes of my life that I can never get back.  So naturally I thought of the movies I have seen.

 

People always say that this or that movie “wasn’t as good as the book”.  It always makes me think, “yes, but I only wasted an hour and a half of my life instead of ten”.  I know, I’m a horrible person. 

 

One popular movie series in particular stood out to me- and no it is not Twilight- it’s The Lord of the Rings.  I just love the part in the movie where Gandolf is standing on the bridge and yelling to the enemy “YOU SHALL NOT PASS”.  It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.  To stare certain death in the face and with all confidence declare that it will go no further.

 

I haven’t read the book yet, but if I were going to read one, I would read that one.

 

Where does that leave this post?  I recently spoke at a youth summer camp, to two large groups of teenage girls.  I talked to them about something we all face at various times- per minute.  Something that has proven to tear down lives and destroy futures.  This powerful thing that we all face? Our feelings.   I can’t speak for you but when I am emotionally wound up about something I don’t always think rationally.  If I see a person of any age be harsh with one of my sons, it’s not just Momma Bear that comes out but a whole lot of crazy too.  And while I strongly respect and uphold the ten commandments in my daily life, I will give no second thought to murdering any woman who even looks at my husband with a twinkle in her eye.  Why?  Because of feelings.  Unrestrained, pure illogical, FEELINGS. 

 

What do we do with these feelings?  Are we wrong for having them?  Is it ok as a Christian to be sad?  Is it ok to cry?  The more I think about this topic, the more I can’t help but think- we were CREATED to have emotions.  Jesus had emotions.  He was ANGRY when He turned over the tables in the temple, He was SAD when He heard of his friend’s death, He was UNCERTAIN when He asked if there were another way in the garden.  We don’t work up an emotion on our own; a feeling is a part of a natural reaction to a situation that we are facing.  So what do we do with these feelings?

 

In one of my posts a few months back I wrote about the sadness I was facing as we learned that we had lost our third baby early in our pregnancy.  I referred to the scripture Ephesians 4:26 (“be angry and sin not”) to show how we can be justified to have an emotion but not to allow that emotion to lead us to doing something that is against the word of God.

 

We can be justified in feeling offended, but choose not to gossip.  We can be justified in feeling lonely, but choose not to dive into an impure relationship.  We can be justified in feeling depressed but choose not to allow ourselves to withdraw from life.  Your feelings, my feelings, are justified.

 

So what do we do with these very real, very valid feelings? We WHAT-THE-WHAT with them (something you may have seen me post as a part of a new trend I hope to start with Teen girls via Facebook and instagram with WhatTheWhatWednesdays).  WHAT am I feeling?  Put a name on it.  The first step to any recovery is labeling the issue.  So what is it exactly that you are feeling.  It has a name.  THE reason is… Understand that there are real circumstances for why you feel the way you do.  Life is full of trials and triumphs.  And if you are in the middle of it right now, I am so so sorry.  I have been there too.  Lift your head up and allow yourself to feel.  God does not expect you to be a robot.  Talk through what happened, but then don’t stop there!  Don’t get into the circle of only asking yourself WHAT-THE and never getting to the last WHAT.  That is how we get ourselves into trouble.  Only focusing on our feelings and what happened to us.  After you have identified WHAT you are feeling and THE reason, ask yourself WHAT does the Bible say?

 

The Bible says to “guard our hearts above all else”.  Remember Gandolf?  He was guarding Froto so that he wouldn’t be harmed.  Gandolf is like the Word that keeps guard over our hearts and minds.  When offense, hatred, loneliness, lust, depression or any other feeling you face tries to lay root in your heart, Gandolf rises up and says “YOU SHALL NOT PASS”.  Not this heart.  Not today.  I know it hurts right now, but God is faithful and will see me through this. If you don’t know what the Word says then you are left defenseless for an attack.  You are allowing passage for the very enemy of your soul to tear you down piece by piece, one feeling led action to another.   No one wakes up wanting to commit murder, adultery or suicide, they allow one thought, one feeling, to fester too long and do something that they can never take back.  Find a leader, pastor, or Godly parent to help you search for a scripture to stand on when you are facing a giant of an emotion, or do it the new way and google it (just make sure to use a credible source like biblegateway.com or bible.com to prevent from wrong information). 

 

The world says to follow your heart, but that isn’t what the bible teaches.  It is impossible to both follow and guard something.  So my friends, know that you’re feelings are real and they happen for a reason- but they will lead you down a path with no end.   Guard them.  Above all else.  With any circumstance, any feeling you face, use WHAT THE WHAT and see just how faithful God is to see you through! 

 

Stand your ground, look that feeling in the face and shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS”.

 

 

 

Ephesians 6:13-14

“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore,…”

 

It's not YOU, it's ME!

When was the last time you lost a friend?  It used to be much harder to know and then this crazy thing called social media came up with this button that made everyone painfully aware of when they had done something that wasn’t pleasing to someone else.  You know exactly which button I am referring to- it was eloquently named: Defriend.

I have to admit, for someone who loves having friends and making others feel happy this whole “defriend” thing could just be the death of me.  I have struggled for most of my life finding the balance between pleasing God and pleasing people.  I enjoy serving others, I find great joy in making someone laugh or smile through their tears, I love listening to what other people are dreaming up for their own life, and I even look forward to filtering through mountain loads of selfies and food pictures to know what my friends are doing.  Then if I were to get painfully transparent with you I would also tell you how I often sacrifice my own needs for others.  Not the “giving up my lunch so someone that is hungry can eat” kind of need, but the need to spend time with God, or the need to rest because it has been an overwhelming week and I can barely keep my eyes open kind of sacrifice.  I have a hard time saying no because I want to make people happy; I don’t want to disappoint anyone.  I need to not disappoint anyone.    

 

Thus the love hate relationship with social media.

 

It is so easy to get upset and just “clean out our lists”.  Don’t get me wrong, there are many times that God convicts me on the people I choose to get close enough to influence my life but then there are “friends” or people that I am acquainted with that I don’t necessarily agree with lifestyle, political, or religious beliefs but enjoy staying in contact with.  Not to compare myself to Jesus because I am a far way off, but even Jesus Himself hung out with tax collectors and I can assure you that He was not excited about their life choices.

 

I may even go one step further and say that if Jesus had a Facebook He would find a way to disable the Defriend button.  The Bible says that He comes to ALL who call out His name.  That Jesus died a gruesome death for ALL.  Not just the socially acceptable.  Or even the morally acceptable.  ALL.  

 

I was a hot mess when I called out to God and He loved me.   Not only does He choose to love me but He also calls me friend.  (Insert the best Youtube video ever of a super old band singing “Jesus is a Friend of Mine” here).  He will never walk away from me.  He will never ignore me.  He will never deny my very existence.  And while Jesus will never do these things, people surely will.  I have caught myself in such despair from time to time seeing that yet again I had “lost” another friend.  Whether it was me, my personal convictions, my family, my political or religious beliefs, my friends, or even my church that had offended them- I now find myself one friend less.  With every people pleasing desire in my body I struggle searching out the reason to persuade them to “love me” again or even just “like me”; to mend what had happened and plead to move on.  But for some this is not an option.  For some they cannot love me, they can however  forget me altogether or, even worse, hate me instead.

 

I have been told that I have my very own “hate club”, that I am a poor excuse for a pastor.  I have heard things that would make me question the very calling on my life.  I do not say this for your pity, but for you to understand that I have been there.  At one particularly low time I can remember thinking to myself, “but I did everything right, I didn’t DO anything this time, there is nothing to apologize for, this isn’t my fault.”  Have you ever thought that?  That you were in the right or had done everything you should to make it right and you were still being shunned?  I have found that after doing all that is required of me according to the scriptures that if a person is still unwilling to move beyond the situation it is usually not a reflection of me at all.

 

If Jesus were to say anything to you facing a similar circumstance, it would be this… “it’s not you, it’s ME”.  It sounds like a silly line a boy would say to a girl when he wanted to break up but it’s true.  The Bible says in John 15:18 that “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”  There will be times in life that the only reason you are being hated or persecuted will be because of the name of Jesus.  He was PERFECT and they HATED Him.  I am not perfect, I am far from, but there have been times when I had done nothing wrong but was still treated with hatred.  This world will hate you for standing for what is right.  They will call you a hypocrite, a freak, or a bigot.  They will tell you that you are the one full of hate and that you should not only accept them but celebrate them. 

 

To all of that I say this- lift your head up my friend, it’s not YOU it’s Him in you that they hate.  The next time that you lose a friend because of your belief in God or you moral convictions I pray that you do not take it to heart.  It isn’t you, it’s Him.  Stop beating yourself up, stop overthinking what you could have done differently, stop letting the situation take your joy from you, stop letting it rob you of your sleep.  The only thing you need to do now is love!  Love them, despite them.  Love them because He loves them.  Love them from a distance if needed, but do not allow hatred to find a place in your heart.  They may persecute you, but love them anyways. 

 

Don’t take it personal, it’s not you it’s Me!

 

 

 

John 15:19-21

¹⁹ The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. ²⁰ Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. ²¹ They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me.

What am I supposed to do with this???

A washcloth- that is what she handed me to solve the problem… a washcloth.  There are many uses for a washcloth but this is not one of them, what am I supposed to do with this?!- I kept saying to myself.  It’s just… so… gross.

 

I am sure you are wondering to yourself what problem I could have possibly been facing that would have made this “solution” so disturbing in so many ways, and for your curiosity and the sake of this blog post I will tell you.

 

I needed a toilet scrubber.

 

Now do you see why a washcloth is NOT the answer I had hoped for?!  I had lived with my youth pastors for all of one week, two at the most, and I was in the process of cleaning my bathroom when I realized that their toilet scrubber was not in the usual places.  Most people keep it right next to the plunger behind the toilet.  Some even keep it under a cabinet for sanitary reasons, but this thing was nowhere to be found.   When I asked where it could be I fully expected an obvious place that I hadn’t thought to look, or even that I had overlooked it all together but not this.  She didn’t trust these wonderful inventions to really clean the disgusting things that were left behind in the toilet.  She CHOSE to stick her hand right down in there and clean the inside of it herself.  Using a rubber glove doesn’t even make me feel better.  MY HAND IS WILLINGLY GOING INTO THE SAME WATER THAT… well… you know… things happen.   She was asking me to go where no hand (of mine at least) had ever gone before.

 

And to make matters even more interesting, this was also the bathroom used by their two junior high aged boys.  Do you see the problem?  I rest my case.  I think I sat in front of that toilet for a good five or ten minutes before I put that glove on, picked up that washcloth, and looking away placed my hand inside of the water.  If my Pastor Lori can do this and believes it to be the only way to truly clean a toilet, then surely I can do this too.  As disgusting as it was I can say with all certainty when it was over, that this toilet was CLEAN.

 

I have wanted to share this story for a few weeks now, ever since I visited with my Pastor Lori in the hospital.  This once fierce lady who would without question or reserve stick her hand inside of a toilet, or with a finger to your nose call you to the carpet for any fowl choice that was made, is now battling the ultimate fight for her life.  She was in remission for many many years now, but her leukemia has come back with a vengeance.  It doesn’t matter if you are the world’s strongest man, cancer will pick on who it wants to, when it wants to.  I cannot begin to describe to you the way that my breath was taken from me when I first saw the toll that it had taken on her body.  How just by looking at her you knew that she had been fighting every day for each new breath.  How I dare not cry in front of her for her sake.  She is strong.  She will beat this.  She is, after all, willing to take life by her own hands and use a washcloth when necessary.  She is my Pastor Lori… she is my hero.

 

She taught me to confront issues even if it meant getting a little messy. 

 

She taught me to do the right thing even when it felt like the worst thing. 

 

She taught me to fight even if it meant losing a few rounds.   

 

 

I am where I am today because of Pastor Joe and Lori Antekeier’s love and commitment to the Lord, and for that I am eternally grateful.   

 

 

If you find yourself today facing a mountain of a problem, be encouraged.  Don’t be afraid to stick your hand right in there and clean up that… stuff.   Sometimes it takes you getting a little messy to truly get your victory.  Put on your fighting gloves (your faith), and pick up your washcloth (the Word) and get in there! 

 

 

You got problems, I got problems, all God's children got problems (forgive the awful use of grammar for the sake of an old saying).  It is in these moments that we face from time to time that I am taken back to when she would share her favorite verse with me, to remind me about what it is all about.

Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?

 

 

 

I am doing my best to live right, to love always, and to never forget the reason of why we are all here.  Keep fighting Pastor Lori, I have so much more to learn!!!

 

“Faith fights so we fight in faith until the victory is complete.”

-Pastor Joe Antekeier

A bunch of Humpty Dumpty People

Today is my first day back in “routine”, so to speak, after a wonderful beach vacation with my little family.  You would think by looking at my third cup of coffee (so far) that it wasn’t much of a vacation, but I assure you it was WONDERFUL!  Jacob was teething and kept us up most nights.  Michael exercised his right to say “no” and I exercised my right to parent which meant keeping him inside the trailer for hours at a time.  We spent hours in a car and even more hours applying sunscreen to our very pale second child (ok, that might be an exaggeration but we did spend quite some time to adequately cover every inch of his body).   We missed every whale and dolphin siting, and gave up our almost comfortable bed so our friends could stay with us a few nights.  But all of that is nothing compared to the joy that filled my heart as I saw my parents stand up from inside of the trailer as we walked in, scaring the daylights out of me, or my boys laughing and running alongside the ocean as if it carried away all of their cares and worries with the tide.  There is something so calming, so peaceful about the sound of the waves, the smell of salt in the air, or the feeling of the sun on your skin.  Vacation.  Glorious vacation.

 

On our last night at the beach we took a walk with our little family along the shoreline.  Michael promptly began his search for sand dollars left by the ocean solely for him to find.  We came across quite a few along the way.  All broken of course.  The many, many broken ones didn’t deter him from running up and down the water’s edge examining each lump in the sand with hopeful expectation.   At the end of our trip he had found three.  And when I say that he found three what I really mean is that I very subtly guided his footsteps so that he would notice the whole shells that I had already seen.  I am thankful there were some to find, it is hard to explain to a four year old boy that he must give up his quest without anything to show for it.  I am sure we have all been in that situation where we have been searching or waiting for something for hours, weeks, or even days without any luck.  It is saddening.  Disheartening.  Even painful. 

 

As a junior in high school on that very same beach, I remember walking up and down the shoreline wanting so badly to just find one whole sand dollar that I could take home to remind me of our trip.  Every time I thought I had found one, I would turn it over to see that the birds had gotten to it first.  It was irritating at first and then that irritation turned into frustration.  I finally (almost jokingly) said out loud to the heavens, “God, why can’t I just find one?”  I am not one to say that God speaks to me audibly every day, but in that moment I could almost hear Him say to me- “I didn’t come for the whole ones, I came for the broken.”  I stopped dead  in my tracks.  Uncertain of what had just happened.   Was that Him?  Was He listening?  Was He listening to me this whole time as I hopelessly walked back and forth frustrated with my lack of finding anything that met my standards?  Those words made such an impact on me that I stopped what I was doing, and began picking up the broken pieces.  He was teaching me in that moment.  Teaching me about what it meant to care for the brokenness of people, to not judge or hate or look away but extend a hand or shoulder to cry on.  To be the light.  To show the love of God.  Because He didn’t send His son to an earth filled with perfect people, He sent His son to an earth filled with brokenness. 

 

Sometimes what we are looking for is not what we are meant to find.  God’s ways are above our ways, His thoughts above our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).  He can see the whole picture, He sees what we cannot see, and in His goodness very subtly He guides our footsteps so that we notice what He already knows to be true.  We look for happiness in experiences and He shows us true happiness found in a relationship with Him.  We look for love and acceptance from people and He shows us that we already have His love and acceptance.  We look for purpose in everyday life and He shows us that we were created with purpose for everyday life.  We are looking for the wrong things.  We are getting frustrated and tired because we have spent too much time looking for the wrong things.

 

The next party or high may make you happy for a moment but it will not last.  The acceptance of the popular crowd or butterflies in your stomach from a boyfriend may make you feel loved for a moment but it will not last.  The job that takes up 40-50 hours of your week may make you feel full of purpose for a moment but it will not last.  Maybe, just maybe, you are looking for the wrong thing.

 

Let’s lift up our eyes.  It is bigger than all of this my friends.  Let’s not get so discouraged with broken shells that we miss the lesson altogether.  For me, if I would have found what I was looking for that day it would have gotten broken, forgotten and thrown away by now. But the image of the broken sand dollars scattered on the shores, being stepped on every day by careless and unknowing people, picked at by birds scouring the ground for food, is something that I remember so vividly even to this day.  It is where my journey and heart for ministry began.  Where I found my purpose, not my job, for waking up every morning. Broken people.   In all of my strength and hot glue I could never restore the wholeness that was taken from those shells.  But everyday I wake up praying that I can help others get a little closer to the knowledge of a loving God who is the only one who can put a bunch of Humpty Dumpty people like us together again.

 

Take a deep breath.  Lift up your eyes.  Take a step back.  And ask God what you might be missing.  Who knows, it could just lead you to the edge of a vast ocean… staring down at some broken shells.

 

 

Proverbs 16:25

There is a way that seems right to a man

and appears straight before him,

but at the end of it is the way of death.

 

 

Matthew 16:52-54

Then Jesus said to him, Put your sword back into its place,

for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.⁵³ Do you suppose

that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will immediately provide Me

with more than twelve legions [more than 80,000] of angels?

⁵⁴ But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled,

that it must come about this way?

 

 

 

With All of my Heart

Every mother has a catch phrase that she tells her kids from time totime.  My mom’s was “You’re my favorite,but don’t tell the other kids”.  Ofcourse she did this to all of us- more times than not right in front of myother siblings- but it still made us feel special.  I have found my own recently.  From the time my boys were small I have toldthem that I loved them “with all of my heart”. I never thought anything of it, never thought that they would rememberme by this, until my four year old recently developed this wonderful game outof it.  The way it works is this, wheneverI say “I love you with all of my heart” he replies with “I love you with all ofmy [insert funny body part or bodily function here]”.   We go back and forth with this for as longas we have funny things to say and it always ends the same, with us laughingand Michael looking into my face and saying “Mom, I love YOU with all of myheart”.  It’s my most favorite thing todo these days with this boy that no longer fits in my lap to cuddle.

 

In one of our last bouts of playing “I love you with all of my…”Michael came up with my favorite one yet. I had just said something silly like “I love you with all of my earwax”when out of nowhere he comes back with “I love you with all of my BACK HAIR”.  Really child, back hair?   Ihaven’t laughed that hard in a long time. You see, I am one quarter Lebanese and my child (who is only one eighth)has picked up many of the genes from my grandmother’s side.  He has olive skin tone, was born with thickblack hair, and has more hair on his body than I believe most men my age have.  Most four year olds would never have thoughtto insert this little gem into our game, because it is foreign to them- but notfor my son!  Let me tell you, this childhas… back…hair…!  And I suppose he has meto thank for that.

 

When I was in seventh grade there was one particular day after gymclass that I remember a couple of boys calling me monkey girl.  Of course they were referring to my dark,long hair arm and ears that stuck out more than a giraffe’s neck, or at leastthat’s what it felt like.  I wentstraight to the bathroom and cried until my next class.  I had never felt so embarrassed and ashameduntil that moment.  I knew I had morehair than the other girls, and I knew that my ears stuck out but I didn’t wantanyone else to notice that.  When I camehome from school that day the first thing that I did was to take out my razorand shave all of that arm hair off.  Mymom had always told me not to because it would grow back thicker and darker,but in that moment I didn’t care.  I didn’twant to ever hear again that I looked like an animal.  I didn’t want to be monkey girl anymore!  I wouldwear my hair down and shave my arms and that would be the end of it.

 

When Michael referred to his back hair, I laughed at first… and then... Istopped.  I stopped because somethinginside of me was afraid that one day someone would look at him and call himnames.  Cause him to believe that therewas something wrong with him.  My heartwas saddened because I love this boy WITH ALL OF MY HEART and I would neverwant him to be embarrassed by any part of him. And if that day comes when someone tries to hurt him because theythemselves are hurting, I pray that he remembers our little game.  That I not only love him with the bestqualities, but with the most embarrassing ones as well.  I love him with my awkward ears because withthem I can hear what he needs to say to me. I love him with my giant front teeth because they help me eat the sandwichesthat he makes for me.  I love him with my“toe thumbs” because with them I can rub his very hair back when he says he’shurt it falling off of his bed.  I lovehim with not just part of me, I love him with ALL of me.

 

Sometimes I think we hinder ourselves from a close relationship withGod because we are embarrassed that if He gets too close then He will discoversomething about us that isn’t so pleasant. When the bible says in Luke 10:27 to “love the LORD your God with all your heart,all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind” it is saying to us thateven with the not so beautiful areas. Even when your mind is full of hateful thoughts, even when you’ve lostall strength to fight back, even when you’ve lost faith in yourself and in God,even in those times we were stillcreated to love Him with ALL.  It isn’tshocking to God.  He knows.  He knows and He still loves you.  You are not hidden from Him no matter how hardyou try.  I love how a great mentor ofmine put it; he said “you can’t cause God to stop loving you, because you didn’tdo anything to cause Him to start loving you”. He just does. 

 

Somy challenge for you is this- love God with all.  Don’t hold back.  Be honest about where you are failing andwavering, it doesn’t scare Him.  No onehas it all together.  Life is hard andmessy and ever-changing, but we serve a God who isn’t.  You can trust Him... with all.

 

 

Psalm 118:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

Walking Talkers

Three friends decide to take a hiking trip.  While at the top of the mountain two of them sit down for a quick breather while the third finally gets reception and makes a much anticipated phone call.  She is a talker, but even more than that… she is a walking talker.  You know those people that can’t really stand still when they are talking to you.  

 

With the hand motions and the pacing back and forth... walking talkers.  

 

She is so caught up in the moment and the conversation that she doesn’t realize that she is headed toward the cliff.  The two friends (Sally and Jane we’ll call them to not get the story confused) notice what is happening.  It isn’t so alarming at first but the closer she gets the more urgent it becomes.  Sally decides to keep silent.  Afraid to interrupt her seemingly very exciting conversation.  She just sits there waiting for the worst to happen.  If you think this is crazy then you would be more like Jane who sees that Sally has kept silent and decides to speak up.  A little less alarmed at first until her warnings go unnoticed and her response turns to full blown panic.  My question for you is- which has the greater love?

 

Maybe it sounds absurd to think of a friend who would sit silently while watching someone they profess to care for walk off of the side of a mountain but we do it every day.  As a fifteen year old girl dealing with many struggles of my own I turned to cutting to help ease my pain.  Weeks went by until my mother noticed and threatened to take me to a mental hospital but settled on counseling instead.  I wish I could say that counseling helped me, that sharing all of my bottled up emotions made everything better, but I didn’t share and I wasn’t better.  I started cutting my hips instead in an attempt to make my parents believe that I was ok again.  Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months.  I am sure the cut marks were seen- sometimes I wonder if they were even talked about behind my back- but no one yelled out to me.  I was walking toward a cliff and no one was yelling out to me.  Finally two friends were concerned enough to tell a school counselor.  I was LIVID.  I hated them for “telling on me”.  I didn’t understand that this hurtful act of betrayal was really an expression of true love. 

 

The bible says In James 1:14-15 “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”  We know sin to be many things.  The bible tells us that sexual immorality, drunkenness, gossip, lying, murder, envy, homosexuality and many other things are sins.  And as James tells us, if sin is allowed to grow (continually choosing to act on it in spite of what the Word teaches) then we are choosing death.  We are walking towards a cliff- choosing death.  So again I ask, which has the greater love?  The person who sits in silence as they pick up their friend night after night from yet another party filled with too much drinking, the person who says nothing when a friend shares about how far she’s gone with her newest boyfriend (despite the obvious physical, emotional, and spiritual harm), the person who turns their head as their friend empties yet another bottle of anti-depressants and dismisses lunch for the fifth time this week, or the person who cares enough to look into their eyes and say that enough is enough.  

 

Now don’t go all GI Jane on me and become the sin police.  My pastor said it best, “Never invoke a personal prejudice and call it holiness”.  Speak the truth IN LOVE, that’s what Ephesians 4:15 says to do.  In LOVE.  Not out of religious duty or out of a heart filled with anger, but out of compassion for the person who struggles deeply with this issue.  Out of concern for the path that they are taking knowing full well that it will take them straight over the edge of a cliff.  And out of love for their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  I do not mind being called out on areas that I may be failing in, as long as I can look into the eyes of the friend calling me out and know that it is done out of love.  I look back on my two friends and thank God for them.  I am where I am today because of them.  You are reading this post right now because of them.  We could all use a few more friends like that  in our lives.  The world has enough silent Sally’s; it’s time to be a Jane!

 

John 13:34-35

³⁴ So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.

Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

³⁵ Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

Change and Choice

Sleep, it isn’t like missing a show that you can catch up on later.  It is a sacrifice.  I am so thankful for the leaders and pastors who opted to sacrifice their sleep for this last weekend at the girl’s conference.  It was not in vein- what an incredible two days!  I had the privilege of speaking to the girls during the last session and I wanted to share a familiar story found in the New Testament with all of them.  I hope this small snidbit from that session speaks to you as well…

"I am sure you have read or at least heard the story of Saul on the road to Damascus (found in Acts 9) before, but I want to tell it from a different point of view. When I was in Sunday school I always pictured him as a monster of a man who hated anything to do with God.  It wasn’t that much of a leap considering that he is throwing Christians into prison, and said to be “eager to kill them”.   But that assumption is incredibly wrong.  I don’t know how big of a man he was, but he believed in God.  So much so that he was very well educated in the Jewish traditions, and kept every one of them.  Saul believed in God, but He did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God.  When Saul asked “Who are you, Lord” and heard back “I am Jesus” he was given a choice.  Stick to what he has known and been taught his entire life or do a complete turnaround on his beliefs and accept that Jesus is in fact, the Son of God. 

Have you ever faced a choice?  A big one?  A real belief or conviction challenging decision?  Should I date this boy, should I go to this party, should I hang out with this group of friends, should I join in on their gossip, should I hold on to this bitterness… I am not saying that you will hear an audible voice booming down from heaven that knocks you off of your horse, mainly because we don’t ride horses… and also because very few hear the audible voice of God… But I am saying that God will call out to you.  He’ll call out to you for your salvation, He’ll call out to you for a change of direction, He’ll call out to you when you are about to make a huge mistake, He’ll call out to you when you feel you are all alone… He’ll call out to you… This amazing God that we serve is so involved with us as a person, He cares so much about the details of our lives that He will try to get our attention.  And when He calls, it is always followed up with a choice.  To follow His leading or to follow our own.  To let Him be the author of our stories, guiding our steps, or to trust only in ourselves (or those we surround ourselves with) and ignore Him entirely. 

 

By all means, this hatred, this dysfunction, this hurt is all we’ve known.  Who are we to think we are “better” than our friends or family?  If I rejected how I’ve been taught to react what would they think?  WHO CARES!!!!  They didn’t write your story and they sure aren’t living it!  Saul’s parents’ raised him to believe in God.  He was passionate about God- enough so that he was angered by what he believed to be blasphemy against the Word of God.  I am sure that they were well intentioned people but they were wrong.  And without a real encounter with God, without a relationship with Him, Saul would have never had the revelation that he was in fact headed down the same wrong path. We can follow all of the advice of our friends or the “rules of religion” that we want but without knowing the author of our own stories our well intentions will always get us into trouble.  It is not enough to be a good person.  Our goodness will never be good enough.  We need to know HIM.  We need to listen to HIM.  We need to follow HIM.

Do you want to know how to find true success in life?  It is found in this simple nursery rhyme…

"Change your reactions, to things that will be.
Choose the right author, to write your story.
If there were ever a key to finding your voice,
It’s in knowing the power of two words; change and choice."

 

This is our life, our story.  And only God can lead us to our Happily Ever After."