When I was in the fourth
grade my family moved from a small town in Central California to a city that
had a grocery store just down the street, and believe me that is a notable fact
especially when you once had to drive 45 minutes each way. This move was the beginning of a lot of new
things for me; a new house, a new school, new friends… and a new word that
would creep into the depths of my heart and become my very identity for too
long. I wonder, just maybe, if this
little word has crept into your life as well. And if it has, you are not alone.
* * *
We moved in the middle of
the school year and the school I had gone to before was much further along educationally,
despite our tiny town, than the one I was now seated in. To make up for this, I was given flash cards
to study while the class continued on with their daily work. Many times during the week the teacher would
ask a question and minutes would go by in complete silence until I would look
up at the board, raise my hand, and give the answer only to look back down and
continue on in my own little world. I
don’t say this braggingly. In fact, it
is something I wish I could forget. I
hated being that girl. And that’s when I
was first introduced to the word… Sitting with my head down looking at my box of
cards I heard a kid whisper, “she’s so weird”.
Weird
Just seeing the word makes me want to punch something, but I digress.
In high school things
didn’t change too much. By my senior
year I found myself eating lunch in a choir room in the back of the school,
taking my own sister to my senior ball because I was the only one of my friends
who hadn’t been asked. Yes I had a few
friends. I even had great grades. I was an intern in our youth group. I brought ten to twenty students with me
every week to church. I was involved
with marching band all four years and even made it to be a section leader. I thought by the time my senior year rolled
around I would have grown out of it but then the last school newspaper came
out- the one with all of the “most likely to this” or “most that”- and I found
my name… you would think that I would
have been ecstatic to have been voted for something... to have been noticed… but it wasn’t something I
wanted to be known for. “Most unique”,
that is what I was voted… most unique, which I was sure was just another way of
saying someone who doesn’t fit in, different, uncool, or weird.
Years later I still have
days when I walk into a new environment and think to myself “do I fit in here?”
And it is with great sadness (and joy- if that’s even possible) that I say that
some days the answer will be no. Really? No? Why
would I be happy about that? Why did the
very word that once destroyed any ounce of self-esteem now become the thing I
am most proud of? Why wouldn’t I want to
fit in?
Do I want to feel like I
belong here? Absolutely, we all do. You have great purpose and BELONG just like I
do. But we shouldn’t strive to fit
in. We don’t fit. We are square pegs trying to be shoved into
tiny circle holes and being told that if we don’t conform we are weird. (Yes, we are squares. I said it.)
Don’t give in, don’t compromise values or your faith, don’t settle for
folding in your corners to fit into a tiny space that culture will allow you to
be in. No, my friends, just no.
The bible says that we
shouldn’t “conform to the patterns of this world, but [we should] be
transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). Conformity is for faceless, nameless, robots
and you beautiful girl (or kind sir… you know just in case my husband reads
this) are not that. You are weird. Yes I said that too. You are a weird square. One who I hope is still reading even after all of this name
calling.
I want to encourage you
to embrace the things that make you different.
Culture may say it’s not cool to wear turtle necks but if you love them
then you just go on rocking them anyway.
Because we aren’t here to please culture. We are here to please God. And I hate to point it out but that will make
you a “hater” sometimes, or a “hypocrite”, or just plain “weird”. And that’s ok. I know it doesn’t feel good, but it’s gonna
be ok.
If what you are doing,
saying, wearing, or thinking is pleasing to God- then just keep on doing it. He is faithful and just as He called the
Israelites out of Egypt to be “separate” to lead them through the wilderness to
the Promised Land, He will do the same for you.
If I could grab my 8 year old self and look her straight in the face, I
would tell her it was all going to be ok.
That I made it. That being different isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Being the same is.
So be quirky. Crazy. Sensational. And for Pete's sake, be weird!
2 Corinthians 6:17
“Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.”
Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.”
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