By Emily Bansuelo
This blog is part 2 of
a 4 part series, Diary of a Wimpy Chick. If you haven’t read part 1, you can do
so here. DISCLAIMER: To protect the
identity of those in my life during this time, I have created aliases for all participants of the diary.
Being a middle school pastor with my husband I come across a
lot of questions from girls. The top two categories are of course, boys and
friends. Recently, I sat down with a group of roudy soon-to-be middle schoolers
and they fired their questions at me like a hungry kid throwing Tapatio on a
taco. And before I could answer their questions, I pulled out my diary to give
them an insider’s look at life as a middle schooler…
February 3
Dear Diary,
…Only
two more days till Friday which means my bday party with Kim and Laura. I can’t
wait!
February 7
Dear Diary,
…Today
I found out that Laura got her “you know what” last YEAR spring break! She didn’t
even tell me. I’m mad at her. That’s just another thing she beat me at.
(Believe me Emily, you’ll be glad later on in life you didn’t get your “you
know what” any sooner. Can I get an amen from all the women out there?)
February 12
Dear Diary,
… I am
mad at Chris. Kim asked him out today and specifically asked him not to tell
any of his guy friends. (Do you see where this is going?) Well, he DID tell all
the girls and guys about it. I’m afraid to tell Kim because I know it will
break her heart. I just don’t know what to do.
February 25
Dear Diary,
I found
out that Laura likes Chris too. I am worried since I like him… Another thing
is, Kim seems really pushed away. And I think I really need to be more of a “best
friend” than a “friend”. I really want to tell Kim that I like Chris too because
I don’t want to hold it in anymore. (3 friends ALL liking the same boy at the
same time? This is never good.)
March 15
Dear Diary,
…Kim
told me to shut up. Laura started ditching me. I didn’t have a good day.
April 11
Dear Diary,
…I can’t
wait to see Laura, It’s been a week of spring break and I hope she likes the
brush I got her when I was in Florida. (Whoa, whoa, hold the phone! I have no
idea what happened in that short span of time, but apparently we became besties
again.)
Well, life as a middle schooler can be tough with friends,
it can feel like we have schizophrenic friendships (always going back and
forth, one minute we are mad at each other the next we are fine.) But let’s be
honest here. Life as an adult can be just as tough and probably tougher with
friends sometimes. However, I’m learning that the same rules apply, and this is how I answered all those crazy girls' questions that I mentioned before.
1. Friendship Is A Two Way Street
Proverbs 27:17- "As iron sharpens iron, so another
person sharpens another." I sure can be exhausting to constantly be pouring into
a relationship, and have no reciprocation whatsoever. If you’re in a
relationship that is constantly exhausting, perhaps some boundaries should be
put up somewhere.
2. Comparison Is A Slippery Slope
Hebrews 12:15- "See to it… that no bitter root
grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Whether you’re in middle school
comparing the timing of the arrival of Aunt Flow. Or you’re an adult comparing
the timing of the promotion, marriage, kids or better house. Comparison can
destroy friendship, even if you love that person dearly.
3. Keep Your Mouth Shut
Proverbs 21:23- Watch your tongue and keep
your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. The number one way, I always
tell girls, to stop drama is to just KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Stop using the
excuse, “We should really pray for Sara because she’s back with that really
nasty guy.” That’s not a prayer request… Or how about the one, “I heard a great
podcast about modesty, I think Rachel should really listen to it, what’s her
number again?” Uh huh.. You really don’t have her number?
4. Shake It Off
Ecclesiastes 7:21- Do not take to heart all the things that people say... People are always going to talk, even when you don't. So don't take things to heart. As much as it pains me to say T. Swift is right- SHAKE IT OFF!
Here’s some final thoughts: Remember why you
are friends in the first place whenever you’re dealing with doubt in a
friendship. What holds your friendship together? Be confident that God has
placed them in your life for a reason. The enemy comes to kill, steal and
destroy, but Jesus came to give us abundant life. And I believe friendship is a
major part of that God-given abundant life. We don’t have to go through our
days with schizophrenic friendships. Be open to
change and different seasons of life saying goodbye to some friends, but also
saying hello to new ones and place Christ at the center of every relationship and
I think we’ll be ok and get through this crazy thing called life.
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