Ever had one of those hard days where you feel like you would have been more productive if you had just stayed in bed all day because not doing anything is better than doing something wrong? I had such a day a few weeks back and it seemed that no matter what I did to improve it, my efforts just made it worse. It took me back to a period of time quite a few years ago where these such bad days seemed to string themselves together to make a bad month, and those months strung together for a few bad years.
I have the amazing opportunity this week to speak to a large group of beautiful young ladies at a youth summer camp. This is the same camp that I myself went to when I was a teenager during such said "bad years" of my life. The same camp where I decided to let go of the things that had been plaguing my mind and allow God to heal my heart. The same camp where I remembered listening to the woman of God talk on Wednesday morning and wondering if I myself would ever get to the place of complete confidence, happiness, and trust in God that the speaker portrayed. And now there I'll be; at the same camp, with the same speaker I had looked up to for so many years who has now become such an important part of my life, sharing the same message of hope that had been shared with me. But reminiscing about this camp also brings me back to what happened after. When I went home, alone. No worship band to get me excited, no morning speaker to encourage me, just me.
You see, it was through that time of my life that God was teaching me something- to trust and rely on Him and Him alone- although at the time it didn't feel like that at all. I remember reading in my bible one morning and 1 Samuel 30 verse 6 popped off the page. It says "6 David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters..." I felt like I could relate with the deeply distressed part, maybe not so much the stoning part so I think his day was worse. And then, there it was. Plain as day. The end of verse 6 "But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God." He encouraged himself. Himself. He didn't have his best friend tell him that everything was going to be ok, he didn't go home to his momma who made him a bowl of mac'n cheese to eat his pain away (not that I have ever done such said things); no, he encouraged himself. What does that even mean? Was he talking to himself like a person who has lost their mind? Was he pretending? Was he speaking in third person?
I have the amazing opportunity this week to speak to a large group of beautiful young ladies at a youth summer camp. This is the same camp that I myself went to when I was a teenager during such said "bad years" of my life. The same camp where I decided to let go of the things that had been plaguing my mind and allow God to heal my heart. The same camp where I remembered listening to the woman of God talk on Wednesday morning and wondering if I myself would ever get to the place of complete confidence, happiness, and trust in God that the speaker portrayed. And now there I'll be; at the same camp, with the same speaker I had looked up to for so many years who has now become such an important part of my life, sharing the same message of hope that had been shared with me. But reminiscing about this camp also brings me back to what happened after. When I went home, alone. No worship band to get me excited, no morning speaker to encourage me, just me.
You see, it was through that time of my life that God was teaching me something- to trust and rely on Him and Him alone- although at the time it didn't feel like that at all. I remember reading in my bible one morning and 1 Samuel 30 verse 6 popped off the page. It says "6 David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters..." I felt like I could relate with the deeply distressed part, maybe not so much the stoning part so I think his day was worse. And then, there it was. Plain as day. The end of verse 6 "But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God." He encouraged himself. Himself. He didn't have his best friend tell him that everything was going to be ok, he didn't go home to his momma who made him a bowl of mac'n cheese to eat his pain away (not that I have ever done such said things); no, he encouraged himself. What does that even mean? Was he talking to himself like a person who has lost their mind? Was he pretending? Was he speaking in third person?
I don't know if you have ever found yourself in between a rock and a hard place with no one to turn to, but at this moment that verse was exactly what I needed to hear. So I did- I encouraged myself in the Lord. I spoke out encouraging scriptures and promises, the things God would say of me even if I didn't think them of myself, and you know what? After a few minutes of being crazy and talking to myself I actually felt better. Because sometimes we know the right answer we just want someone else to tell us we are right. Because sometimes there is no one around to tell us to get over it or everything will be ok. Because sometimes we forget that our every answer can be found in that book we only pick up on Sundays. Because sometimes it takes us being completely alone to realize that God really is all we need. So if you find yourself in the midst of a trying time, alone with no one to talk to, open up your B-I-B-L-E (yes that's the book for me...), and start encouraging yourself in the Lord. At the end of the day it's just you and Him anyway!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self
is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us
an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things
that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient,
but the things that are unseen are eternal.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self
is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us
an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things
that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient,
but the things that are unseen are eternal.
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