Am I Okay?

They fumble around with no sense of direction or common sense.  They have way too much energy, courage, and curiosity for their tiny awkward stature.  And they always get into way too many shenanigans to be left unsupervised even for a moment… children… they are terrifyingly unaware of anything… until it is too late, that is.

 

As a teenager these miniature humans seemed so fragile.  At a youth event I once saw a child take a nose dive off of a few stairs onto a tile floor only to see the parent look at me and without missing a beat say, “don’t react”.  SERIOUSLY?! Your kid probably has a brain bleed after that fall and you are asking me to not  react, not even to check to see if he is ok?  I know he said this because he could see my eyes widen to an abnormal width and my arms flail out like a pizza delivery boy protecting his pizzas after being cutoff in traffic, but this was a time for panic- wasn’t it? 

 

I learned a very valuable lesson that day, one I will carry with me always as a mother.  When a child gets hurt, or thinks they may have gotten hurt, the first thing they will do is look for their parents' face and without uttering any words ask the question, “am I okay?”.

 

It has been proven time and time again.  And with much practice I have learned something even more valuable with dealing with a child who unfortunately has taken after his very clumsy mother; to the extent that I react they react. 

 

If I am in a panic then my boys will follow my lead and think that tripping over the rug for the umpteenth time will in fact be the cause of their untimely deaths.  But if I am calm as I hypothetically watch my child run through the house (after being told not to over a million times) and head straight for the side of our couch causing him to spin out of control and smack his face on the ground, all the while being watched by our social worker who is judging to see if we would be fit parents to adopt a little girl (or two), then I can instruct my shaking son who is looking at me with eyes that would bring any mother to tears and peacefully say- “you are ok, I know that must have hurt, but you are okay” and watch as he takes a big breath and continues on with the story of his baseball game.  Eye turning colors, swelling to double the size, and all.  Hypothetically of course.

 

But he is okay.  Because I said he was.  Not in a “suck it up, be a man” kind of way, but in a trusting “mom would know what to do if it was really bad” kind of way.  I have seen my fair share of trips, falls, smacks, whacks, and everything in between with these two boys of mine and I know as any parent would when it is most definitely not okay.  So when my boy looks at me after yet another accident I can assess if this is a hold-them-tight-and-repeat-you-are-okay kind of moment or wink-at-their-clumsiness-and-laugh-it-off one. 

 

Over time I have realized that there are many ways to deal with the fumbling’s of children.  Many that causes the children more trauma than comfort when a situation is catapulted way out of control with a parent’s hysteria.  And as children do, they feed off of that reaction and assume that they are in fact dying.  This is the end.  That is the last patch of grass they will ever trip over.

 

Here is what we can all learn from this, being a mother or not.  When we as children of God find ourselves in tough situations, look for His face.  Don’t look around at other people who will nine times out of ten make you feel more angry, more bitter, more hurt than you already do after a three hour venting session.  Look for His face.  Because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Creator of the universe, the One who knows the beginning and the end, our Father, will most certainly be saying- you’re okay.  I know that must have hurt, but you are okay.

 

Not in a suck it up, fake it 'til you make it kind of way.

 

But in a trusting, my Father would know what to do if it was really bad, kind of way.

 

Look for His face.  Seek refuge in His divine nature.  Rest in His willing and able hands. 

You don’t have to pretend that you are okay in that moment, just trust that you will be.

 

 

 

2 Thessalonians 3:3

But the Lord is faithful.  He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.

 

2 Samuel 22:3-4

My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation,

my stronghold and my refuge, my Savior; You save me from violence. 

I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.