Change is coming. Like a storm on the horizon. It is inevitable. No one knows how bad it will be, where
exactly it will affect the most, or even who it will drag into the middle of it
all. Only one thing is for sure… it is coming.
I can say this with all
certainty, without even knowing your precise situation, because I know
something both exciting and terrifying that many choose to ignore- life is change. Whether you love it or hate it, it has always
and will always be there.
When you are 12 you are
promoted to junior high. You lose recess
but get school dances. You lose friends
but get a new school. Change.
When you are 14 you are
promoted to high school. You lose your
seniority but get a larger campus. You
lose your voice in a big crowd but get a larger variety of classes. Change.
When you are 18 you
graduate high school. You lose a
familiar environment but get a renewed sense of freedom. You lose friends you’ve spent years making
memories with but get the ability to choose the direction for the rest of your
life. Change.
When you are in your
twenties there are even more changes.
New cities, new schools, new churches, new jobs, new relationships. You
get married and have a baby. You have
three babies. Change change change. And of course all of these are just the
typical (minus the family of five status) and don’t even include a possible
divorce in the family, a death, a big move, a loss of a friendship, a loss of a
mentor. So many things are constantly
changing that the only thing you can bet your money on… is change.
I have gone through my
fair share of transitions, the most recent of which being our big move to
Visalia. And for the sake of complete openness
and honesty it was the hardest season of bitterness I have had to walk through
to date. Not because we moved. Not because we felt we were wrong for moving. Not even because every single bit of my life
was altered. It was hard because of
people.
People make change hard.
People that I loved and
had to leave. People that we had poured
our lives into and were devastated that God had called us on. People that not only disagreed with our
journey but made it a point to tell us how displeased they were. People that have ignored, shunned, and even stopped
believing in the calling of God on our lives because it didn’t match the plan
they had for us. All because of that
dirty six letter word; change.
In this new season, in
this new city, in this new church, and in our new home I am surrounded by an
array of newness and I find myself disillusioned instead of delighted. It isn’t
what I thought it would be. Instead of
joy I am feeling loss. Instead of
excitement I am feeling anxiety. But I
know that I am where I am supposed to be, so why does it have to be this hard? Why does change have to hurt?
While talking to (more
like word vomiting all over) my beautiful Aunt over the weekend she made a profound
statement that has brought me such peace in the midst of this storm. She said… “you aren’t losing, you’re expanding”. We see change as loss. I lost a house that I made memories in. I lost a youth group that I love dearly. I lost mentors who once encouraged me. I lost a sense of purpose that once defined
me. But that isn’t the way God sees it.
The Bible says that “His ways are above my ways. His thoughts are above my thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8).
Everything I thought I
had lost, God has expanded. He has
pushed the walls back that I once believed were so immovable and I am living in
this idea of “more”. More places for
memories to be made, more students to love on and believe in, more voices that
have helped shape and guide me, more vision and possibility than I could see
before. It isn’t loss it is
expansion. It isn’t less it is
more.
God’s intentions for our
lives, His plans for us, are to move us from glory to glory (from better to
even better) but we often see the years pass as two steps forward and one step
back. Something gained and something
lost. We make everything so personal
that we forget the “more” that God has in mind.
We see change as bad instead of just different. We “lose” a friend instead of a friendship
being different. We “lose” a home
instead of our home being different. We “lose”
a job instead of a job being different.
The only thing we truly lose with change is our preconceived
expectations.
It isn’t what you thought
it would be. It isn’t how you thought it
would go. It isn’t who you thought would
stick around.
It isn’t our thoughts,
our ways. And that’s ok. It never will be. But know this; you are not alone in it. We all go through change and will for the
rest of our lives. So get ready,
because it is coming.
Psalm 18:30
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Psalm 145:17
The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.
Gracious in all His works.
This is beautiful, profound, and significant! Thank you for sharing. I think I was meant to read them.
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